days, I mentioned that to Piper at dinner one of the few nights she ate with me the first week. She always seemed to have somewhere to go and someone to see. One night, she didn’t even come home.
“Welcome to reality, where you’re just another number in an audition line,” she said.
“It’s not my reality. I’m not and never will be just another number,” I shot back, with a hint of anger at the mere suggestion.
Her eyes widened. “I hope not. But remember, Emma, the higher you dream in this world, the harder you fall.” I was sure that was a line that had been recited to her, maybe often, by her parents or someone who wanted her to do something more substantial with her life.
My father couldn’t have said it any better himself.
“Or the higher you soar,” I replied. It might be true for her, I thought, but not for me.
She laughed and then leaned forward to whisper, even though there was no one in the apartment but me, “You’re probably wondering where I’ve been some nights this week.”
“I’m sure you have lots of friends,” I said.
“No, as a matter of fact, I don’t. However,” she said, smiling, “I met someone, someone who even my mother would call substantial.”
“Really? Who is he? I mean, what’s substantial mean?”
“He earns a very good salary as a radio engineer at WVOS AM, a station here in Manhattan. He’s not terribly handsome, but he treats me as if I was a princess. Polite as an undertaker. Lives in Queens. After last night, he gave me this,” she said, and pulled the necklace up and out of her shirt to show me a black cameo. “Said it was his grandmother’s.”
“It’s beautiful. It looks like a valuable antique. He gave you that after only a few days?”
“Like I said,” she replied with a shrug, tucking the necklace back under her shirt, “he’s not terribly handsome, so having someone like me on his arm lights up his bulbs.”
“If you don’t find him attractive, how—”
“Here’s a secret a girlfriend of mine in high school taught me. You pick out a guy you’d die to sleep with and picture him when you make love to any other guy. If he’s worth it, of course. Jerome is worth it. I call him my backstop.”
“What’s that?”
“You know, someone you can depend on if you fail. It’s kind of like putting money in the bank. When you need it, you take it out. Didn’t your father ever tell you that?”
“Not in that sense, no,” I said. “It sounds like you’re using someone.”
“Duh? Everybody uses everybody. Don’t look so shocked, Emma. You and I are using each other, aren’t we?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m paying half of this place so you can live here, and you’re paying half so I can. It’s not a sin; it’s life,” she said. “I’m trying out for something tomorrow,” she added, maybe to get off the subject because I was questioning her too closely. “It’s off-Broadway, kind of a spoof of the cancan. You know what that is, right?”
“Yes.”
“Jerome knew someone who knew someone involved with the production, so I have a good shot. See what I mean about using someone? You’d better get into it if you want to survive here,” she added.
I’m certain my reflexive look of disapproval was annoying to her.
“I’m not comfortable taking advantage of someone’s generosity. My father always said, ‘Accepting someone’s generosity without giving back something of equal value is the same as accumulating debt.’ ”
“Oh, brother. No wonder you ran away from home.”
“I didn’t run away. I came here to pursue my career.”
She shrugged. “Whatever. I’m going to spend the weekend with Jerome. I need some new clothes, and he promised to take me to a mall.”
“You mean you’ll have him buy you new clothes?”
“I won’t make him. He wants to. Never stop a man from rushing into a jewelry store,” she said, with a grin my father would say could make Satan jealous.
She stopped smiling when I didn’t.
“You’re so serious, Emma,” she said. “Especially for someone your age. Are all English girls like you?”
“No,” I said. Although I thought it, I didn’t add, Nor like you.
She shrugged and then brightened. “The latest Playbill is out tomorrow. I hear there are at least a half dozen open calls this week and next. Maybe you’ll get into a chorus. Girls get discovered when they’re in choruses, too, so don’t knock it.”
“I wouldn’t. I don’t expect to be a star overnight.”