Whispered Darkness by Jessica Sorensen Page 0,19
is: you noticed me?
I could lie. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Except for when I’m around him.
I nod. “In case you haven’t noticed, you stand out big time.”
He stares down at his fingers as he undoes and refastens the clasp of the leather band on his wrist. “It’s mostly because I’m covered in tattoos and piercings, which seems to be a very unpopular thing in this judgmental town,” he mutters.
I resist an eye roll. “That’s not the only reason you stand out. You’re gorgeous. But what I’m wondering is, if you don’t know that or if you’re just pretending you’re unaware.”
He shakes his head, looking a little annoyed. “I’m aware that some people think I’m good looking, but it doesn’t matter. Being good looking hasn’t done shit for me, except attract the wrong kind of attention.”
“What do you mean?”
He shrugs. “I mean that it’s gotten me nowhere, other than being used. Which … whatever. It is what it is, and I stopped trying to look for anything past that a long time ago.”
“What do you mean by used?” I ask, his irritation and pain colliding inside me.
He tensely massages the back of his neck. “I can tell you, but the story’s kind of ugly.”
“I want to hear it,” I say. Because I do. I want to know all about him, the boy I chose to ignore but now is all I see. “Unless you’re not comfortable sharing it with me.”
“No, it’s fine … I just …” He lowers his hand to his lap. “About a year ago, I started going out with this girl, Natalie. She went to the school over in Fareland, so she didn’t know about me or who Foster was. At least, I thought so. But after about a month of dating her, I found out that she did know Foster, and she was using me to get to him.”
“What? Why would she do that?”
“Well, apparently, she hooked up with him a few times at parties, and she wanted to be more than a hookup, but he didn’t want that. No surprise there. My brother is known for being a player.”
I can’t help thinking of how Porter said something similar to me the night of the accident when we were at the gas station and Foster had been flirting with Beth. Beth who’s now dead and who’s death I need to solve.
Part of me wonders if she somehow made me sleepwalk to that lake so I would snap out of it and find Kingsley.
“Were you in love with her?” I ask. “Natalie, I mean.”
“No. She was just my first and only girlfriend, and honestly, she was the first girl to really pay attention to me. I think that’s why it didn’t hurt that much when I found out she was into Foster. I didn’t really like her. In fact, she did a lot of shit that annoyed me. But the realization of her using me to get to get to Foster sucked.”
“I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, this Natalie sounds like a dumb fucking twat,” I tell him. “And I’d know, because I’ve been that dumb fucking twat.”
The corners of his lips twitch upward. “Did you just call yourself a dumb fucking twat?”
I shrug, smiling. “It seems like a really fitting name for any girl who thinks your brother is worth a second glance.”
He shakes his head. “You’re not dumb at all. Natalie may be, but you … you’ve known Foster and me forever, and your whole life, our parents have acted like everything he does is perfect, so how else were you supposed to see him?”
“Maybe you’re right, but I still feel stupid. And oblivious.” I give a short pause. “I didn’t even realize you’d ever dated anyone. For some reason, I always thought you hadn’t. Not that I don’t think you’re dating-worthy—you totally are. I just … You never really seemed to be into anyone, and I never saw you with anyone, other than Porter and Star. And, well, at that party, I saw you around people.” That party where you kissed me.
He must be thinking the same thing, because his gaze briefly descends to my lips.
“Natalie was the only girl I have dated,” he says, meeting my gaze again. “And it was for a short time, so you probably never did see me with her. And even though I didn’t know it, the relationship wasn’t even real.” Weirdly, he doesn’t feel as hurt about this. “So, technically, I guess I really haven’t