blew out a breath and set her luggage down, and then walked over to talk to the valet guys as a distraction.
“I’m an old lady,” Scarlet said. “They wouldn’t let an old lady travel to Miami without some protection. That’s un-American.”
“It’s also against the law,” I said. “Hand over your gun.”
I held out my hand and waited, and Scarlet narrowed her eyes at me, no doubt trying to see whether or not I was bluffing.
“Fine,” she said. “But I’m going to see my guy once I get to the city. I don’t like being unarmed. Sometimes fights break out in the clubs, and you gotta shoot holes in stuff.”
“Like people?” I asked, appalled.
“Sometimes,” she said. “Sometimes the ceiling or bathroom stalls or speakers ’cause the bass is too loud. Guns are real handy. You should get one.”
“I have one,” I said.
“Where is it?” she asked. “You’re not pulling a fast one on me, are you? I’m not leaving my gun if you have yours.”
“My gun is at home where it’s supposed to be,” I told her patiently.
“That’s fine then,” she said, digging in her bag and pulling out a .44 revolver.
“Have you ever shot this thing?” I asked, unloading it and then hiding the bullet and the gun in a cabinet inside the van.
“Of course I’ve shot it,” she said. “Kicks like a mule. Broke my face once and I got to wear an eye patch.”
“What else do you have in there?” I asked. “A knife?”
“Maybe,” she said. “Don’t tell me ladies can’t carry knives either?”
“I know you know the rules,” I said. “You fly all over the world.”
“Yeah, but most of the time they don’t even notice I’m carrying,” she said. “They let old people get away with all kinds of stuff. I saw a man in a wheelchair who was on oxygen board with a sawed-off shotgun once. I think old people make those TSA folks nervous.”
“You may be right,” I said. “But just for the sake of time, go ahead and take out all your weapons so we don’t get detained.”
Scarlet snapped her teeth together and then dumped her handbag on the floor of the van. Along with three knives in varying lengths, she had brass knuckles, a Chinese throwing star and a can of Mace.
I was curious about the brass knuckles and the throwing star, but I closed the sliding door of the van, hefted Scarlet’s bags, and then we followed Kate into the airport.
Nick and I had flown first class to Tahiti, and I’d quickly become accustomed to no-hassle travel.
“I’ve got lots of tricks to get you through the airport quick,” Scarlet said. “Y’all stick with me and we’ll be on that flight in no time. People are real scared of old ladies. Especially if you pretend like you’re about to die.”
“That would certainly scare me,” Kate said.
Thankfully, the airport wasn’t crowded. Scarlet stood in front of us and charged her way through oncoming crowds, sticking out a foot from time to time and throwing the occasional elbow. When a policeman came up, I was sure he’d seen her clothesline a woman more interested in her phone than her surroundings, but he offered to help get her through security and to our gate as quickly as possible.
By the time we got to our seats, I was out of breath and regretting packing so many pairs of shoes in my carry-on. Kate and I were seated together in the front row, and Scarlet was across the aisle from us, sizing up her seatmate. He was a nice-looking man in his sixties in Wranglers and a sport coat, and he stowed his Stetson in the overhead compartment, showing a thick mane of silver hair.
“Oh, Lord,” I said, nudging Kate.
She snickered. “That’s what you get for bringing her along.”
“It wasn’t my fault,” I said. “She blackmailed me.”
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
“I’m going to need a gin and tonic for me and my new friend here,” Scarlet said to the flight attendant. “And you’re going to want to keep them coming on account of I look a lot better after I’m blurry.”
The flight attendant nodded automatically, but I could tell by the look in her eyes there was a part of her brain that was blaring a warning signal. But she went off to start passing out drinks, and I figured at that point she had no one to blame but herself.
“So what’s going on with Vince?” Kate asked, once we’d taken off. “Find out anything new?”