Whirlwind - Janet Dailey Page 0,93

I’ll pass,” he said. “I’ve got sprinklers to mend at home.”

“Not quite like the old days, is it?” she couldn’t resist saying. “We all miss Callie’s great cooking.”

“Not just her cooking.” He gave her a forlorn look. “She was a fine lady and a good friend. I miss her every day.”

“We all do.”

Lexie watched him load the Kubota with tools and leftover parts and drive back toward his house. What a lonely, bitter man, she thought. His friendship with Callie had been the one bright spot in his life. Surely he wouldn’t have harmed her.

But right now she had more important things to do than play detective. This coming weekend she would be driving to Tucson to pick up Shane and bring him back to the ranch. She wanted everything in his room to be spotlessly clean and arranged for his use. She would need to talk to the boys, to make sure someone strong was handy to help him out of the truck into his chair. And the plywood Aaron had laid down to serve as a ramp to the porch would need to be better supported. Maybe Ruben could take care of that before he and Pedro left for the rodeo.

It was her turn to fix lunch, so she hurried back inside and busied herself in the kitchen. With Shane coming, it wouldn’t hurt to improve her cooking skills. One more thing to add to her growing mental list.

Could she really do this? The enormity of what she was about to face loomed over her like the crest of a huge, breaking wave. Shane. Here. Maybe for the rest of his life. And there would be no miracles, no magic cures. He would never be able to walk again.

He would be angry and frustrated with himself. He might even take his rage out on her. Could she stand it? Could she take it for what it was and understand?

She loved Shane with all her heart and soul. If he’d asked her to be his wife, she would have married him on the spot. But that wasn’t what he’d set as a condition of his coming here. It would be hands off, no strings, no promises. Pride—that was all he had now. And that pride had built a wall between them.

In the hospital, she had taken his doctor aside and asked him about Shane’s sexual function. She still remembered the doctor’s words. “It’s too soon to say for sure. As far as we know, the nerves involved weren’t damaged. But the key to that function is as much mental as physical. In other words, as long as he believes it can’t happen, chances are, it won’t. For a man, that can be the scariest thing of all.”

And that, Lexie sensed, was behind Shane’s distancing himself from her. He was scared—scared to death of finding out that he wasn’t able to make love to her.

The days, weeks, and months ahead would be a trial for Shane as well as for her. If she wasn’t up to it, now would be the time to let him know. Otherwise, she would gather her courage and walk into the future with her eyes open, prepared to give him all the patience, understanding, and love her heart possessed.

* * *

After an all-night drive, Tess unloaded Whirlwind at Red Rock Arena in Gallup for the Wild Thing Bullriding Championship event. After seeing him fed and comfortable, she parked the rig in the lot and went in search of coffee.

Just outside the entrance to the park, she found a Starbucks, ordered a Grande black and slumped behind a corner table. After twenty-four hours without sleep, she was feeling raw and irritable. She’d avoided the mirror in the restroom, but she probably looked the way she felt. Whirlwind wouldn’t be bucking until this evening. Until then, she could catch a few hours of sleep in the truck. For that, it wasn’t worth checking into a motel.

When her name was called, she picked up her coffee at the counter and returned to the table, this time sitting with her back to the room, as if to shut out the noise and chatter. She hadn’t seen a bull riding event since Jack’s death. It was something she needed to do. But it would take all her strength of will to watch without turning away—especially if some young rider went down under the hooves.

The coffee was almost scalding. She took careful sips until it began to cool. Little by little,