Whirlwind - Janet Dailey Page 0,87
know better than that,” she said, pushing past the sting of his words. “You told me you needed time. That’s what I’ve given you. The offer of a job on our ranch is still open. Have you thought about it?”
“More than you can imagine.”
“And?” When he didn’t reply, she plunged ahead. “I know we can’t compete with Brock. Have you already accepted his offer? Is that what you’re trying to tell me?”
He reached out and took her hand, cradling it against his leathery palm. Lexie braced for the news she’d feared.
“Actually, I haven’t accepted anything yet. I know what Brock could give me, but I also understand the price I’d have to pay for it. The job on the Alamo Canyon Ranch would give me a challenge—a chance to grow and to be of use. I’d say yes right now, but there’s one thing you need to understand.”
She waited, letting her eyes ask the question. Her hand felt strangely cold in his.
“You and I—we can’t just go back and pick up where we left off, Lexie. I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy. I need to be able to take care of my woman—to protect her and provide for her. Right now, I can barely take care of myself.
“I don’t know if I can ever be a husband to you or give you a family. And unless I can be a man, in every sense of the word, I won’t go half measures. I won’t saddle you with what I’ve become, not even if you’re willing. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Yes.” Lexie could feel the crack widening in her heart, but she forced herself to say the words. “No expectations. No pressure. We’d be like good friends. Nothing more.”
“Can you accept that, as I’ve had to?”
She nodded, pressing her lips together.
“If you can do that, then I’d like to take your ranch job on a trial basis. I have one week of rehab left. Then I’ll be out of here. All right?”
“Yes. All right.”
“It’s not too late to change your mind.”
“I won’t change my mind. You’ll be welcome—and needed. I’ll get your room ready and come for you in a week.” Lexie forced herself to smile. “It’ll work out. You’ll see.”
His expression told her he had misgivings, but at least he was willing to try. As for the rest . . . she should have known it would be like this. Shane was a proud man. For now, all she could do was respect his wishes. But it wouldn’t be easy—not when the need to be in his arms was already tearing her apart.
She made it out to the parking lot before she crumbled and broke. Falling in love with Shane had been a dream come true. But fate had had other plans for them. She thought of Tess and Mitch, of Val and Casey. It was as if her family was cursed. But now it was her turn to grow up and play the hand that life had dealt her.
The AC had gone out on Shane’s truck. She drove with the windows down, the radio blaring, and the hot desert wind drying her tears.
* * *
Later that week, Alma Jensen came to collect his bull. Tess had kept an eye on the cows, taking note of the ones that showed signs of having been bred. By now, most of them had been taken care of, and Gadianton was looking ragged. The lame old bull had done his job. But Tess wouldn’t know for sure until a few months from now, when the cows should begin to look pregnant.
She waited by the paddock gate as the truck and trailer crawled down the winding road. Inside the house, Lexie and Val were moving storage boxes out of Val’s childhood room and into the master bedroom where Callie had slept. When the job was done, Val would have her room back, and Jack’s old room could be set up for Shane, who’d be arriving in a few days. Musical bedrooms. Tess was well out of it.
Having Shane here would be an adjustment for the family. Tess could only hope that her instincts were right. If things worked out between Shane and Lexie, he could be a real asset to the ranch. If not . . . Never mind. She would take things as they came. Right now the Jensen rig was pulling into the yard.
As the rancher backed the trailer up to the loading ramp and climbed out of the cab, Tess