German identity unless it became absolutely necessary and’ – his eyes met hers intensely – ‘it became absolutely necessary.’
‘Why should I trust you?’
He lay back on his pillow and seemed thoughtful, before whispering, ‘Because I have everything to lose and nothing to gain by what I am about to tell you. I am Major Vonstein of the German Army. I joined the army when I was young – before Herr Hitler took over – and I was proud to serve my country. But this war has been horrific, and I also started to see things happening that I knew weren’t right. At first I turned a blind eye, but the rumours started to surface of what was being done in our name, and I was sickened by it, especially the treatment of the Jewish people.’
Vivi was frustrated. ‘So all that you told me about your family was a lie, the vineyard, your brother…’
Marcus slowly shook his head. ‘Not all of it. The story was true except why my brother died.’ His voice started to crack and it took him a minute before he could compose himself.
Vivi sensed his raw emotion and determined either he was an incredible liar or what he was telling her was true.
He got lost in his reminiscence. ‘My sister Amy is older, but my brother and I were just a year apart, grew up together on the winery and it was the best possible life for two boys who had no God-given sense and plenty of ways to find trouble. Fresh air, good food and a mother and father who adored us. We were closer than twins, fought defiantly for each other and against one another when we felt passionately enough about a topic. Marcel really was the bravest and strongest, the best of the best. Everybody loved him. He was the first to help a stranger or a neighbour and had a quiet confidence that I secretly envied. A way of sharing the best of himself in such a way, you thought it was your own.
‘As we grew into manhood it became obvious that his heart belonged to the farm. The dark rich earth, the growing, the satisfaction of producing the best wine in the region became his passion. He fell in love with the smell of the grapes as they ripened on the vine, the new greening branches in the spring, the pruning and the harvest. Once he set his heart in this direction there was never a morning that he wasn’t up checking the fields at dawn. The farm was all he cared about and my father was ecstatic to share his knowledge and love with his younger son. But as he started spending more and more time with my father, the ground started to shift between us and we stopped being together all the time, and I was lost without him. I tried to find my footing, my place in my family, but there was no purpose for me any more. I felt isolated and as if I no longer fitted. So I went to find camaraderie somewhere else, somewhere where the ground would be strong, where things wouldn’t change, where I would have friends for life – so I joined the army. I wanted to make my country and my family proud. And at first it was good, and when he first rose to power, Hitler seemed great for our country. We had been pummelled by the First World War and our spirit as a nation was broken, the treaty that was placed on us so hard to rise above. As we barrelled into another war I was all for it at first, we wanted back our honour, our respect, ourselves. My family were concerned. They didn’t see how killing more people would help. But I was conceited and arrogant…’ Marcus started to break down, his voice trailing off to a whisper.
‘What happened to your brother? To your family?’ Vivi asked gently.
He turned his face from her, the tears starting to well in his eyes, and instinctively she grabbed his hand. Even if he was a German, the enemy, she recognised pain when she saw it. It reflected her own that she carried in her body like shrapnel.
He pushed through his anguish. ‘My brother was put in charge of the vineyard and when I would come home on leave, things felt more balanced in our lives. We had found our places in the world and we could return to the relationship