know, I understood what you said yesterday, and I think we both have a lot of emotions going on right now. I think you’re correct that we must slow down and take things gradually, and I think you are right that we shouldn’t pursue something between us at the moment. We both need time. But let’s at least finish everything we’re doing here,’ he continued, ‘and see where we are after that.’
Sophie nodded as a waitress approached the table and took his order. When her eggs arrived, she found that she wasn’t hungry and pushed them around her plate.
‘So, do we need to go back to the records place to locate the graves?’ she asked.
He nodded as he scooped a spoonful of his boiled egg. If anything, he seemed more relieved by their clarifying conversation than she did.
They finished their breakfast and made their way in the taxi. On the journey, they made casual conversation about Germany and the weather and the hotel they were staying in. Sophie wondered, at that moment, if it was over. She despised the way her heart felt conflicted. She wasn’t sure she wanted this. But she couldn’t believe that just over a week ago she’d still thought she was in love with Matt. These feelings that had come upon her so quickly had overwhelmed her, while also reminding her that there were other people out there, people who she might be able to feel something for again one day.
Sophie looked across at Alex, who was staring out of the other window, and enjoyed being with him. It was not just the attraction she’d had, but how comfortable she felt around him. He was so warm, so attentive, so different to Matt.
They arrived at the records office and it didn’t take long for them to track down the cemeteries where both Vivienne and Marcus were buried. With a shudder, they realised it was the same one in Normandy.
Later that morning they flew straight to Normandy and hired a car to drive to the cemetery. Years before, all the German soldiers had been moved from the many graves that they had been placed in around France during the war years to this location for ease of visitors looking for their relatives.
Sophie bought flowers on the way from the airport, and when they arrived, her whole body shook with the experience. She had not considered how much all of this would affect her, her mind going back to burying her mother and her darling daughter such a short time before. Seeing her struggling, Alex put a reassuring arm around her, and she allowed him to comfort her as they found their way down the gravel path to the rows and rows of white crosses that stretched in long lines as far as her eye could see. Someone had given them a number at the gate, and they had to count along the rows until they found the correct one.
When they got there, she moved to stand in front of the tiny cross. It seemed so simple and plain. With tears running down her cheeks, she stared out at all the crosses and thought about all the stories of people’s lives that lay beneath them. With her hand still trembling, she laid the flowers on Vivienne’s grave.
‘Dear Vivienne, I don’t know all of your story, but I’m sorry for how you died.’
She thought again about the phrase ‘remember the swallows’. What could it have meant?
After they visited Vivienne’s grave, they also found Marcus’s cross, and they stood before it. She felt overwhelmed as tears continued to slide down her cheeks. Tears for the great-aunt she had never known, and tears for a war that had created both monsters and heroes at the same time.
‘I feel guilty,’ said Alex, looking down at the cross. ‘I have done nothing wrong, and yet I feel guilty. I don’t know how to put this right.’
She reached out and took his hand in her own. ‘If nothing else good comes out of this, at least we will have met each other.’ He looked at her hopefully. ‘As friends,’ she reiterated.
As they departed the cemetery, they were both thoughtful. They travelled to their hotel in silence, and when they arrived, they talked about the next step.
‘We can get a flight back to Paris in the morning if you wish,’ he suggested.
She nodded. ‘I think tomorrow would be good. But I will fly straight back home to England.’