was the truth, but oh, holy fuck, had I really spent the entire date talking about Lex?
She shrugged. “You didn’t have to. You had this big goofy grin when you told me she looked like a clown. It was cute.” She leaned forward on her elbows. “So tell me this. Does she know that you’re in love with her, or was that just a secret you were planning to share with me?”
It was like a bullet fired from a gun. I lurched from my seat, desperate to avoid it, but I wasn’t fast enough and it hit me with the force of a brick wall. “I’m not in love with her. We’re friends. Fine. We’re even closer than me and Cal these days. But that’s it.”
Do not think about the air ass-grab. Do not think about the air ass-grab. Do not think about—
“I liked it, Hudson.”
Oh, God. What the hell had I done wrong in a past life to deserve this shit?
I blew out a ragged breath and raked a hand through the top of my hair. “It’s not like that.”
She stood up and grabbed her small, black clutch. “Maybe. Maybe not. I’d rather not wait around to find out. But hey, I had a lot of fun tonight. If things don’t work out with Alexis, give me a call.” She opened her purse and pulled a few bills out.
I quickly waved her off. “No. Please. I’ve got dinner. I’m embarrassed enough without you offering to pay.”
She smiled. “Okay, then. Tell Alexis I said hi.”
I scratched the back of my neck, feeling like the ultimate asshole. “Sure thing.”
She flashed me one last smile and then she was gone.
My head was swirling as I waited for the waiter to bring me the check. What was wrong with me? I’d spent over fifteen years being immune to Alexis Lawson, and then three words and my name didn’t just open that door in my brain, they dropped-kicked it right off the hinges.
“I liked it, Hudson.” Her voice rang in my ears, and I could still see her wild, red hair blowing in the breeze and her green eyes dancing with an insecurity I ached to quell.
This couldn’t happen. The last time I’d decided I had feelings for one of my friends, I’d regretted it almost immediately. Yeah, Jack was the best thing that had ever happened to me, so it wasn’t all bad. But that one night with Lauren changed everything. I couldn’t afford to chance that with Lex. I just needed to figure out how to reinstall that damn door in my head and then lock it up tight until she was married with a litter of kids.
Normally when I was in a bad place with something, Lex and I would talk it through. And if she wasn’t available, I’d turn to Cal. And if he wasn’t available, I’d go to Judy or David. And if they weren’t available, I’d go to Lauren.
But I wasn’t really eager to talk to any of them about how I was feeling about Lex. Cal would probably have me castrated. Lauren wouldn’t even pick up the phone. And with my luck, Judy would set our wedding date.
No. There was only one person I could talk to about this, and as much as I would have rather thrown myself in front of a bus than have that conversation, it had to be said. And then, hopefully, this would be squashed once and for all.
Me: Hey, when you and Logan are done with dinner, can we meet at Huey’s for a few? I have something we need to talk about.
Ten minutes later, as I was walking to my car, she still hadn’t replied. So I called. It was a dick move, knowing she was on a date, and only about forty percent of why I called instead of letting it go for the night was because she was in fact out on a date.
When she didn’t answer, my mind went to places like Logan taking her back to his place for a nightcap. And that was probably only about ninety-nine percent of the reason I decided to text him.
Me: Hey, are you still with Lex? She’s not answering her phone.
Logan: Nah. She left about an hour ago. Cool chick. Not sure she was all that impressed by me though.