She smiled weakly. “The storage unit is empty, and there’s a for sale sign up at the old house.”
My heart exploded, and my panic about Jack and Lauren momentarily ebbed. Finally, some fucking good news. In three strides, I closed the distance between us and dropped to my knees in front of her.
“Babe,” I whispered, framing her face, pride and relief surging in my veins.
“I feel good about it too. Brenden and I had a long talk and I honestly think he’d be happy for us. Mainly for you because I’m a pretty amazing catch. But he did always like you, so he’s probably at least a little happy for me too.”
I smiled and traced my thumb back and forth across her cheek. “So you’re ready to come back to me?”
“I’m ready,” she confirmed with a grin, but as much as she tried to hide it, the slightest quiver of her lip told the real story. “I’m ready but you’re moving to Portland.”
“No,” I breathed, feeling as though she’d punched me in the gut. “I didn’t agree to moving yet.” I leaned in to kiss her, but she dodged me.
She stood up and headed for the kitchen. “You have to go, Hud. It’s the only thing that makes sense. Jack needs you.”
“Then you’re coming with me. End of story.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the counter, an entire ocean in the shape of her bar dividing us. “I have a life here. And after today, I feel like I’m finally ready to start living it. My parents are getting older, and Cal and Vanessa are pregnant. I spent the last six years leaning on everyone around me. I’d kinda like to be here to return the favor. Not to mention, Plush Pet is really starting to take off. I have inventory and new orders rolling in every day. I’d take a huge loss financially and especially in momentum, one I’m not sure a new, small company can recover from, if I paused things now. It’s just not feasible.”
I didn’t want to ask the question. I didn’t even want to hear the words roll off my tongue. But I didn’t have the power to stop them. “And what about us?”
She sucked in a ragged breath. “Well, I, uh, I hear long distance is a thing.”
“Fuck long distance. I’ve been on the verge of losing my Goddamn mind for over a month without you. You’re not making me do this. I won’t choose between you and Jack.”
“There is no choice!” she yelled, her calm, cool, and collected demeanor finally snapping. “Jack is priority number one for you, and I’ve known that since the first time he was laid in your arms. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. If for one second I thought there was any chance you’d pick me, I’d break up with you on the spot. You’re a good dad. It’s part of why I love you. But I can’t go to Portland with you. Not right now.”
I stared at her, every word hitting me like a knife to the chest. If I’d stopped to think about it, I could have understood where she was coming from. She’d just gotten her life back together, and there I was, asking her to uproot everything she knew and everything she’d worked her ass off for.
It went against every fiber of my being not to gather her damn cats, throw her into the car, and kidnap her. Or at the very least drop to my knees and beg her to come with me.
But where would that have left us? Bitter, angry, and resentful.
Jack had always been my number-one priority. And I’d known for over fifteen years that Alexis Lawson was the most fiercely independent woman I would ever meet. She loved me. There was not a beat in my chest that made me doubt that, but it felt like we kept hitting dead end after dead end.
After sitting on pause for six years, she deserved the chance to finally press play on her life. I wanted that for her more than anything in the entire fucking world. I just wanted her to fall asleep beside me every night while it happened.
Though maybe that wasn’t in the cards for me and Lex. At least not right now, and fuck me if that didn’t burn like the hottest fire.
As I stared at her across the bar, everything I knew about my life suddenly faded into nothingness.