When Stars Collide (Light in the Dark #2) - Micalea Smeltzer Page 0,13
But then this last year, I realized that’s not what I wanted. I want to play ball, so I kept it from them. I lucked out that apparently no one close to me watched the draft on TV. Sure, my teammates and coach knew, but it was easy to keep it a secret from Cade. After the football season ended, he hasn’t wanted to have anything to do with the sport—I’ve always gotten the impression that he never really loved it all that much. Since I don’t want Cade to know, I’ve kept it a secret from everyone else too—it’s not their burden to bear—but I know my time’s running out and it ticks down incessantly in my mind.
I set my clothes on the chair in the corner and go to shower. It doesn’t take me long, and when I finish, I dry my hair with a towel and put on a pair of basketball shorts and head downstairs to cook breakfast.
The four of us take turns making breakfast, but since the three of us have been gone for the last week, I have no idea whose turn it is. Luckily, we’re all easygoing so it doesn’t really matter.
I pull out the ingredients for pancakes and start making the batter.
When that’s done, I set the bowl aside and pull out bacon and eggs from the refrigerator. I fry the bacon first, then finish the pancakes, before finally making the eggs.
I’m sliding the eggs onto one large plate when Rae comes into the kitchen.
“Hey,” she greets with a yawn.
“Hi,” I say. “Hungry?” She nods.
“I have to leave soon. Nova and I are driving a few hours away to take photos in some park she knows about.” She grabs a plate and begins piling the food onto it. “How was Vegas?” she asks, an innocent enough question but I tense anyway.
“Good,” I say.
She raises a brow before pulling a chair out at the kitchen table. “You guys were gone for a week, and all you have to say is good?”
I laugh, but it sounds forced. “We spent most of the week in seminars, so boring would be a more apt word.” I shrug and pile food onto my plate. My plate is overflowing compared to Rae’s.
She opens her mouth to say more, but Cade comes in then and bends to kiss her cheek. “Morning,” he says in a sleepy voice.
Rae smiles up at him, and for a moment, I feel envious. It’s not an emotion I feel often, but I envy their easy and open relationship. I still don’t know where Thea and I stand—if she even wants to really try to be with me—but what I do know is, no matter what, she wants to keep this a secret. And that hurts. I understand where she’s coming from, I really do; if we try this, and it doesn’t work out, it would hurt the people around us and make things awkward, but dammit, I want to be able to kiss her and touch her openly without worrying about everyone else. I’ve already spent enough time hiding how I feel.
Cade gets his food and sits down beside Rae, completely oblivious to the sudden dark cloud hanging over my head.
I shovel a big bite of pancake into my mouth while they chat. Eventually, I can’t take a second more of them looking at each other lovingly, so I clean my plate and head back upstairs, bumping into Thea in the hall.
“Whoa,” she cries, colliding with my body. I steady her with my hands on her arms. She looks up at me with a sheepish smile. “I suppose I have you to thank for carrying me to bed?”
I shrug. “I wasn’t going to leave you on the couch.”
“Do I smell your pancakes?” She points down the stairs. I nod and she moans. “Yes, you make the best pancakes.”
I want to tell her what else I’m best at, but I keep my mouth shut.
We part ways and I close myself in my room to change into my work clothes.
The button-down shirt feels constricting—like a damn straight jacket around my body.
I tuck the bottom of it into my pants and smooth down the front. My reflection stares back at me with an irritated expression. I shake my head and smooth my fingers through my hair, doing my best to make the longer strands look somewhat tamed. When I look halfway decent, I grab my motorcycle jacket and shrug it on.