When the Heart Lies - By Christina North Page 0,28
you can consciously try to make a choice to review an action before engaging in it. I’m not judging you. You said yourself the pills were impulsive.”
He made sense, and she agreed with him not only because she wanted him to discharge her, but also because he was right. If she hadn’t been impulsive and left New York, she wouldn’t be in this fix. “I’m curious, why couldn’t I make any phone calls yesterday?”
“After an incident similar to the one you experienced, I find people are very emotional. Sometimes they need to think about what they really want and take time away from the conflict for solitary reflection. Does that make sense?”
“Makes sense.” The way she went back and forth about calling Nick, he had a point. She wanted to call him, but in many ways, she remained afraid.
“Yes. It’s a different approach, but I find it works. I’m told I have some old fashion ideas.” He smiled. “Let me ask you. Do you still need to make those calls today?”
She shook her head. As she told Jackson, she should get out of this bind on her own. Or at least attempt to.
“Well, I can see from your records and from talking to you, you’re an intelligent, healthy young woman. I’m discharging you this morning. I’ll give you a prescription for Xanax in case you find yourself anxious like you were the night you came in.”
It was amazing how cooperative he was being, but she wasn’t going to question her luck. She was glad to be leaving. “Do you think I need the pills?”
“Just in case. Sounds like you have your hands full right now. It’s better to have some if you need them. You can fill the prescription at the pharmacy downstairs. Just don’t take them all at once.” Smiling rather handsomely and with good humor, he nodded, letting her know she was free to leave.
It would take Wayde at least a couple hours to get Max ready and get to Lakeside. She stopped at the nurse’s desk to call him and then headed to her room to rest. She was at an impasse. Say goodbye to Jackson, or skip it? He clouded her judgment. The whole three months she’d been with Wayde, she’d only thought about being home again. That’s all she wanted to focus on. Maybe she was losing hope of ever going home again. Whatever it was, it was enough of an opening for her to allow Jackson to slip in and confuse things even more. She went over to the bed and slumped down into the softness. What was I thinking to leave New York with nothing but a small book advance? Nick would never have wanted her to leave with no money. At the time, she wanted him to worry. To care. She’d give up the love of a man for Max, but Nick had to at least care.
Curled up and spooning her pillow, she imagined Jackson. To her, he was simply a pleasant diversion. That’s what she told herself. A man she could pretend would always look at her the way he did now and would love and want only her forever. He was a silly fantasy, but she chose to daydream anyway. She conceived the heat of his skin against her face, the firmness of his chest against her hand, and the smell of him. She could almost feel his hand on top of hers as it lay against his chest. Imagining him breathing, she synchronized her breaths with his and fell asleep sensing him next to her. The memory of a man she’d given up to be with Nick, a man who truly loved her, taught her how to relax and fall asleep that way. She wasn’t sure if she could give that up again.
~ ~ ~
Jackson boarded the plane and took his seat next to Olivia in first class. “I’m not looking forward to this, especially the overnight trip, and I thought I was going to be able to touch base with Kinsley before she left.”
Olivia’s silence spoke for itself. He’d try to be more sensitive of her feelings for him.
Leaning in, he spoke in a softer voice. “So? Talk to me, what’s happening with the audio at the house?”
“You’re supposed to be a patient. Goodbyes aren’t essential. Haven’t been able to get in yet. The stripper sleeps the day away, and he rarely goes out. Do you ever say hello? Or is everything all business since you dumped me?”