When a Duke Loves a Governess (Unlikely Duchesses #3) - Olivia Drake Page 0,54
ride. The park is empty, and I can go for a gallop.”
A cackle escaped Jiggs. “Too much time at yer desk, I s’pose. Sets a man t’ itchin’ fer action.”
“Precisely.”
Being in no humor for chatter this morning, Guy donned a forest-green riding coat and went into the darkened bedchamber that had once belonged to his grandfather. Gloom cloaked the heavy furnishings and the four-poster bed on its dais against the wall. Since he’d arisen early, no servant had yet come in to light the coals in the marble fireplace. He’d slept fitfully due to that encounter with Tessa after the lecture.
You are a duke, and I am a governess. And it is no use pretending otherwise.
Her parting words had needled him. She was right, of course, they oughtn’t be meeting late at night, no matter how much they relished each other’s company. The danger wasn’t so much the risk of being seen together. Rather, it was the heat smoldering between them that eventually would burst into flames. They would end up in his bed—and then what?
Marriage was out of the question. She knew as well as he that they were not social equals. Such a match would be regarded with horror by the ton, not to mention his aunt and various other family members. Besides, he had sworn to avoid the institution. Once was enough to sour him.
In his youth he’d been dazzled by Annabelle’s beauty and eager to speak his vows to her. By the time the fire of infatuation had burned away, and he’d discovered the shallowness beneath her charms, it was too late. Their marriage had grown increasingly contentious. Annabelle had craved balls and frivolities, the constant fawning of others, and she’d sulked whenever he’d devoted any time to scientific study. The endless pouting, the tearful quarrels, had stirred contempt in him until they’d spent more time apart than together.
The memory left a bad taste in his mouth. Over the years, he’d made his peace with the past, though wedlock still wasn’t for him. But he’d always be grateful to Annabelle for one reason. She’d given him Sophy.
Guy’s chest tightened. He would never forget the joy of cuddling her tiny form for the first time. Yet he’d felt frightened, too, that he’d fail her as he’d failed at marriage. If he wasn’t fit to be a husband, he surely wasn’t fit to be a father, either. Hounded by that fear, he’d sailed away from England, believing his daughter to be better off in the care of her grandparents.
Yet that, too, had been a terrible mistake. Sophy now believed her father hated her. And he needed Tessa’s help to convince her otherwise.
For that reason alone, Guy knew he must resist his bodily desires. After having neglected his daughter for years, he couldn’t rob her of the one person she was beginning to trust. He could not set up Tessa in a discreet house for his pleasure, as was common among gentlemen of his class. She’d never agree to such a demeaning arrangement, anyway. Nor did he wish to dishonor Tessa, no matter how much he ached for her.
You are a duke, and I am a governess. And it is no use pretending otherwise.
Those words were a grim reminder that his life was no longer his own. Along with the title came the duties of running several estates, overseeing myriad holdings and investments, and directing enough employees to populate an entire town. Any spare time he could eke out of his busy schedule must be devoted to the book he was writing, to his research in the conservatory, and to redeeming himself in the eyes of his daughter. Nothing else mattered.
He couldn’t keep losing sleep over his obsession with a woman.
That was the real reason why he’d decided to go for a ride, to clear his mind and regain his focus. He was looking forward to an hour of freedom. During the years of sailing around the globe, he’d missed the invigorating briskness of an English autumn.
It had been pitch dark when he’d woken but now the sky had grown lighter. He walked to a window to assess the weather. A lustrous pink glow on the horizon tinted the neighboring houses and heralded the dawn. It looked to be a cool, fair morning, just the sort of fresh air he needed to sweep away the cobwebs. As he was turning to head down to the stables, however, a movement below in the garden made him pause.