What's Life Without the Sprinkles - By Misty Simon Page 0,26
cages and invited him for a sleepover. Even though the night stretched out before her, Claudia had said yes. Honestly, it would be nice to have a night off to regroup after Nate had turned her down for dinner and a movie in. She needed to lick her wounds, and instead she was getting flirting tips from Zoe.
“It wasn’t a blinking thing! I was trying to bat my eyelashes at him.”
She demonstrated, and Zoe jumped right on her. “Honey, that is not batting your eyelashes. That it definitely blinking like you have something in your eye.”
Claudia heaved a sigh. “I told you I was a complete lost cause. Even at the batting cages I couldn’t get it right. He talked to Justin and then just walked away as if I didn’t exist except as the mom.”
“No, no, no. I’m just saying we might need to take a more direct approach. After all these years, he may not get a more subtle hint.”
“I’m going to give up on it. I don’t know why I thought I could flirt anyway. We’re comfortable the way we are. Forget about it.”
As if.
“I will not forget about it. You want that cake, finally, and we’re going to get it for you. Maybe even cake with icing! We are not giving up.”
“I wish I had your enthusiasm. I think all I’ll ever be is a mother. I don’t even know how to be a woman anymore. And I just want the cake. I’ll never actually find the icing.”
Apparently, Zoe thought that line of thinking needed to be nipped right in the bud.
“I was right there along with you when you were getting bigger and bigger with your pregnancy. Hell, I even had odd cravings right along with you, at the ripe old age of fifteen. I am not going to let you shrivel up and die an old maid at twenty-eight. Life is not over. We’ll nail this, and then you’ll be the happiest woman in the world.”
“Or I’ll nail Nate and have no more best friend. I don’t know if I still even remember how to have sex.” Claudia threw her hand over her brow and leaned back against the kitchen counter.
Zoe grabbed her hand and pinched her finger. “Do not go all drama queen on me. Now, let’s get started so we can get you laid and happy. Time’s a-wasting, and I don’t have any more of it to go out and buy you blue and green streamers for your poor-me party.”
“You have never been funny, and I don’t know why you continue to try. I’m being serious here, and you’re mocking me.”
“I’m not mocking you.” Zoe sat at the kitchen table and retrieved a notepad from under the jumble of crap that had accumulated there throughout the week. It seemed like it was the one place everyone dropped their stuff. Justin’s socks, Claudia’s purse and mail, Zoe’s jacket, all mounded on the table like a trash heap gone bad.
“You are.” At the wooden table, Claudia pulled out the chair across from Zoe and plopped into it. “You think this is easy after so many years? Nate has seen me breastfeed my kid and cry all over him when Justin did something unbearably cute or horribly wrong. Why is he going to want this?” She waved a hand at her less-than-perfect body and then pulled some of her long hair away from her head.
“I think Nate has wanted that since he was sixteen years old.”
“Yeah, and at sixteen I weighed forty pounds less and had highlights shining in my perfect hair.”
“You also fixed your bangs in a fan that stood about five inches above your forehead.”
Claudia thunked her head on the hard wood of the table. “Don’t remind me. This is useless.”
“All right, that’s the last time you’re allowed to say that. I’ve given you time to be a sad sack, but no more. We’re going to do this, and we’re going to do it right. Once Nate gets a clue, he’ll fall right into your clutches.” Zoe made note of the highlights on her pad and added a few ideas about how to go about making Nate even more besotted than he already was. When Claudia tried to get a better peek at the paper, Zoe slapped a hand on top of the pad.
“And what about you?”
Zoe’s head whipped up and she zeroed in on Claudia with narrowed eyes. “Nothing about me. This is all you.” She doodled a heart on the page