to return to Brighton with Charles. Stevie had needed good memories. And the blissful moments she had with Charles had been those good memories. It was odd to see her mother so welcoming of her ex-boyfriend. In the time they had dated, her mother had been apprehensive about him. He only made her better, so it was difficult to understand her mother’s less than impressive attitude towards him.
Stevie dug her hands into the thick blue jacket her mother had insisted she wear. Though the sun bled through the clouds, the frost still hung in the air. She found comfort in the vicious waves that crashed against the shore. It’d be suicidal to attempt to swim, but there was a handful in the water. They didn’t frolic or play. They did laps it seemed. She had thought snow would blanket the beach, but this year it was warmer than previously. But it was still cold in comparison to back home in Melbourne.
“You all right?” Charles asked beside her.
Stevie let out a low sigh and nodded. Charles was always good to her. Ever since they had met, he had focused on her happiness and treated her as no one else had. He saw the good in her, and she was never quite sure why. Charles could have had any other woman, but he had chosen her. It wasn’t as if he couldn’t get a woman’s attention. His chiselled face with his light brown hair, soft green eyes, and sweetness in his smile made him every mother’s dream guy for their daughter… except hers. But then again, Collette hadn’t been much of a mother so her opinion of Charles never really mattered to Stevie.
“Stevie?”
She tore away from the sight of the water and the remains of West Pier to stare at him. Every part of her still loved him. Maybe not the way she loved Julian, but it was there. He had made her better. He had made her feel like she was worth something, worth a glance and a smile. But it killed her that she couldn’t be hopelessly in love with him like she had been two years ago.
Before she was able to reply to him, Charles had wrapped his arms around her and whispered, “I’m here. You don’t have to go back. You have me.”
Stevie hugged him just as tight. “I love you, Charlie.”
His nickname felt so natural to her lips. So much good within him made her heart warm and ache. She knew she was trying to mask it, but the lingering pain of Julian remained. Whether she stayed in England was another story. For now, she’d find comfort in Charles. She didn’t have Julian’s love.
Not anymore.
“I love you, Stevie,” he said into her hair.
And that was the difference between Charles and Julian. Charles loved the real her. The one with all the flaws and all the mistakes. Julian loved Stephanie. The girl Stevie had left behind all those years ago in that Thai villa. Charles loved the monster that she was. Julian had loved the idea of what she had been. Maybe Julian had been a habit of her heart. Someone she’d have to get over. Someone she’d have to tell her heart to forget. She had made her bed a long time ago. She had deserved every accusation and hurtful words.
She had never deserved Julian Moors’ love.
Not from the beginning.
Never in the in between.
And certainly never in the ending.
The last time she had lain in this exact bed, she had been intimate with Charles. She had admitted she loved him that day. Gary Cole’s family house by the beach had been the holder of her favourite memory of her and Charles. That night had been powerful and intense. It had been everything and more. As she stared at the white painted ceiling, Stevie’s palms ran along the mattress. The ache in her chest throbbed when she was alone with her thoughts. The darkness loomed and she knew it. No amount of alcohol could ever get rid of the image of Julian’s pain-filled face. The uncontrollable need to switch on her phone and call him was insanely great. But she knew whatever she’d say would never warrant his forgiveness.
After their embrace, Charles and Stevie had walked along the beach, catching up on the two years they had been apart. Charles had graduated with a first-class degree in business administration. Ended up becoming the business operations manager at Whitmore Technologies. He hadn’t been serious with anyone since her. Only