What If You & Me (Say Everything #2) - Roni Loren Page 0,88
glow. “Hey, yourself, stranger.” She stood and braced her elbows on the high counter, giving him an up-and-down look. “Lookin’ good, Dawson. You lost weight.”
He snorted. “Yeah, half a leg’s worth.”
“Ha,” she said with a grin. “Pretty extreme diet plan. I’m just trying to give up carbs.” She drew a circle around her chin. “I like the beard, too. Suits you.”
“Thanks,” he said, meaning it. The last time Bernice had seen him, he’d been laid up at home, recovering. “You’re stunning as always.”
“I know.” She slicked a hand back over her gray hair, which she always wore in a low bun. “It’s a burden.”
The tight knot between Hill’s shoulder blades eased a little. Just because he and Christina weren’t together anymore didn’t mean the old friends he’d made here would treat him any differently. He needed to stop avoiding all the Before people like he’d done something wrong.
“So, what can I help you with?” Bernie asked.
He glanced toward the door that led to the main part of the station. “Is Christina here?”
Her eyebrows arched ever so slightly. “Yeah, she’s in the back. Let me see if she’s free.” She picked up the phone, and after a moment of murmured conversation, turned back to Hill and hung up the phone. “You can go on back.”
“Thanks, Bernie.”
“Y’all play nice,” she said.
“Of course.” Hill took a breath and headed through the door and toward the little office Christina used when she wasn’t out on her beat.
She was waiting for him, leaning against the doorjamb when he turned the corner of the hallway, arms crossed, expression unreadable.
He cleared his throat when he reached her, and she didn’t step aside to let him into the office. “Hey.”
“Hey,” she said with a brief nod. “What’s up?”
Her expression was cool, which wasn’t surprising, and his instinct was to react in kind, but he was suddenly tired of fighting with her—of being angry. It took so much goddamned energy to hold a grudge. He could feel it eating away at him, a cancer that grew each time he fed it.
Yes, she’d cheated. Yes, she’d left him for his best friend. There was no excuse for what she’d done. But would he have been better off if she had stuffed down the fact that she wasn’t attracted to him anymore and stayed? Would that have done either of them any good? He wished she’d broken it off without the lying, but the end result would be the same.
“I was hoping I could get your help on something,” he said, keeping his tone even.
“My help,” she said flatly.
He sighed. “And maybe that we could talk.”
Her eyes narrowed like she was gauging from what angle he was going to verbally attack her, but whatever she saw had her stepping back and letting him into her office. “Come on in.”
Christina shut the door and then slid into the spot behind the desk. As she sat, he noticed the slight roundness of her belly starting to show. The sight was weird—Christina pregnant. He’d imagined that a few times after they’d gotten engaged. That belly had been part of the future he’d pictured for himself, but now he realized he had no wistful feelings about that loss. This wasn’t the person he was supposed to be with.
She clasped her hands together, leaning onto her elbows, and giving him the cop stare—the look that said Start talking.
Hill had come in for one reason but now realized he had something else to take care of before that. He rubbed his palms on his jeans. “First, I want to say I’m sorry.”
Her brows shot up. “You’re sorry.”
“Yeah. Just because our relationship ended how it did doesn’t give me the right to be an asshole to you indefinitely,” he went on. “I’m going to stop doing that.”
She blinked, obviously caught off guard. “Oh.”
He hurried on, afraid he’d lose the nerve. “I realize now that while I was dealing with my injuries and the trauma, you were dealing with your own loss and trauma. You signed up to marry a healthy, active firefighter, and suddenly, you were having to be a caretaker of an angry guy with a disability. You went to someone else for comfort. I wasn’t there to give you that.”
Christina looked down at her hands. “Hill…”
“I just want you to know that I wish you the best. Truly,” he said, realizing he meant it. “I hope you and Josh and the baby have a happy life.”
Christina’s gaze jumped to his, her eyes shiny—a rarity since Chris