What If You & Me (Say Everything #2) - Roni Loren Page 0,111
the hours. The times after, in contrast, were painted with color—full of laughter and scary movies and cooking and tangled sheets. Mornings when he woke up and was actually excited about the day. Days when he remembered the person he used to be. Andi had been like a shot of adrenaline straight into the bloodstream of his life.
And she could’ve been taken from this world. Just like that. Because he’d pushed her away, hurt her. To protect himself. The coward’s move. He should’ve been walking her to her door tonight. Instead, she’d had to face her worst nightmare alone.
But still, even after all that, when he’d gotten to her, she hadn’t yelled at him or been angry for what he’d done. Instead, she’d knocked him flat on his proverbial ass. A talent she seemed to have.
When she’d declared she loved him—right before demanding he get his butt in the truck—his whole world had tilted under him. He’d known after their conversation earlier in the night that she was developing feelings for him, but the way she’d put it out there… I love you. You love me. Like that didn’t take a shit ton of bravery. Like they were facts that just existed. That had made something inside him click into place.
Could it be that simple?
Everything in his life had felt so complicated for so long that he always looked for layers within the layers. Why had he gone back in to save those people even after the building was declared too dangerous to go back inside? Was it because he was brave or because he didn’t care if he made it? Had Christina cheated on him because there was something wrong with him or because there was something wrong with the relationship? Had his mom left because she didn’t think Hill was worth sticking around for, or was she just so depressed that she thought everyone would be better without her?
He’d searched for answers for so long, but maybe the answers didn’t matter. The past couldn’t be changed. The future couldn’t be controlled or guaranteed. All he could do was deal with what was going on now—here, in the present. What did he want his life to look like now?
When he was with Andi, he was happy. And she seemed happy with him.
Maybe it was that simple.
Hill was broken from his train of thought when Eliza sat down next to him. She’d arrived at the station a little while ago, after Andi had called her to tell her what happened. She handed him a Snickers bar from the vending machine.
He took it even though he wasn’t hungry. “Thanks.”
“Do you think she’s going to be in there much longer?” Eliza asked, opening a package of Reese’s Cups. “I’m afraid when the adrenaline wears off, the reality of what happened tonight is going to settle in for her and she’s going to need us.”
Hill frowned. “I don’t know how much longer it will be, but Christina’s in there with her. She’ll watch out for her and let me know if Andi needs anything.”
“Christina the ex?” she asked. “That might be awkward.”
“I don’t think so. We’re on good terms now, and she already met Andi a while back. She’s the one who helped figure out that Andi had been doxed. I wouldn’t have gone to the house when I did if Chris hadn’t told me what happened.” He leaned back and sighed. “I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if Andi had been forced to bang on neighbors’ doors for help. If the guy had caught up with her…”
“God, me neither,” Eliza said. “Though I suspect she would’ve figured something out. She’s a warrior, that one.”
He glanced over at Eliza. “One hundred percent.”
Eliza looked down at her chocolate, a little smile touching her lips. “That’s why you two make a good pair,” she said casually. “From the outside, it seems a weird match. You, the quiet, stoic type. Andi, the quirky, bubbly one. But underneath that, you’ve both experienced real trauma. The kind of stuff that distills life down to its most vital parts.” She peeked over at him. “You both know how to cut through the bullshit.”
“The bullshit?”
“Yeah.” She peeled off the brown wrapper on one of the peanut butter cups. “Everyone says life’s too short, but the two of you know it. Because you’ve each had to contemplate that yours was about to end. That matures a person real fast.”