The What If Guy - Lauren Blakely Page 0,46

with a kid. I got this lotus—for change. So I could try to live my life on the other side. And part of that is honesty.” I draw a deep breath, meeting her gaze. In her eyes I see patience, and it’s wonderful. It’s refreshing.

“And the thing is, even though we haven’t done anything . . .” I stop to sketch air quotes, and she laughs, then we both turn more serious. “I feel like I’m not setting a good example. I’m a week and a half into being the new CEO of The Dating Pool, and nearly every day I flirt with you, text with you, talk to you, or think about doing those things.”

She nibbles on the corner of her lips, nodding, a guilty look in her eyes too. “Same here. I feel like I’m a bad leader. The writers and editors wanted to know when I was going to write about my second date with you. They asked me that the other day.”

The idea of another date with Bryn makes my heart thunder and my skin sizzle. And it makes my brain happy.

But there are hoops to jump through. Things to consider and choices to make.

“I talked to Oliver this week,” I continue. “He’s my best friend from way back, and he’s also my attorney.”

She pulls a face. A confused face. “Are you asking me to sign something?”

“No, no, God no,” I say, laughing then stopping.

She exhales, relieved. “Good. Because it sounded like you were going to ask me to sign an NDA.”

“No. Sort of the opposite,” I say, girding myself for her reaction. “Here’s the thing. It’s not necessarily a good idea for the CEO to date employees, but it is possible. And since we dated before, and met before, and talked before, I think we can pull it off if we disclose it to HR. If we’re on the up-and-up.”

Her gorgeous green eyes widen. “We’d have to tell everyone?”

“Essentially, yes.” I try to read her. I’m dying to know if she’ll seriously consider my offer.

Her voice is heavy as she asks, “All the writers, editors, and designers who work for me would have to know?”

A weight sinks in my gut as reality registers fully.

While this might seem like an easy solution to me, since I’m in charge and I don’t really know any of them yet, it’s an incredibly difficult choice for the woman across from me.

She’s the one who has to absorb the brunt of any blowback.

18

Bryn

As I look at Logan across from me, his hands on his mug, his brown eyes locked on mine, I see a man who’s putting himself out there. Who’s laying his feelings on the line.

My heart wants to reciprocate.

But my head doesn’t know how to be me and do this. To be the person I’ve fashioned myself into—a leader, a lady boss, a stand-up citizen at work.

I need to try though. He deserves that much, and so do I. He’s not asking me to do this for the “Mr. Smolder” series to continue. He is asking me to do this because he cares for me.

That makes a huge difference.

But the thing is . . .

“It’s not that I don’t want to do that,” I say, but then backpedal because a double negative isn’t the way to go. “I want that, Logan. I do. Please know I do.”

A tiny smile curves his lips. “Good.” It comes out as a relieved whisper.

I swallow past the stone in my throat. “But it changes a lot for me.”

His eyes are serious, intense, and he nods, getting it. “I know. I completely understand that this is more of a risk for you to take on than it is for me.”

“And there’s Isaac.” I picture the man I discuss baseball with. Only baseball. “Isaac is great, but he and I only ever talk about the Yankees. And I like it that way. I like debating the team’s chances with him. I like that I don’t have to go to him with trouble. I like not discussing my love life with him.” I take another drink, needing a moment to sort through the tangled skein of issues I’d face. “And sure, on the one hand, I run a site where discussing our love lives is par for the course. It’s the very reason for the site. But I prefer doing that when said love life is with someone who’s not involved with signing the checks.”

He’s stoic, but I can see a hint of sadness in