I only told Cody because he asked if I was staying with my parents and I told him, I always stay here.
My limbs are shaky as I move to the window of the hotel room. I’m on the second floor so there’s no reason I should see anyone there, but still, I look over every inch and then do a search in the room, checking in the closet, in the bathroom. I search every inch and then lock the door before heading back to the roses. There’s no note. No indication of who they’re from and the clerk at the desk said she didn’t know. They were simply left here specifically for me when I checked in.
A dozen red roses that keep me up most of the night until I slip into a light sleep, filled with brutal memories.
Delilah
Three days in my hometown is plenty.
Add in two family dinners with forced smiles and my mother doing her best to tell us she’s fine and everything’s all right, and I couldn’t wait to leave. I spent every moment I could in the hotel providing lies about how much I was needed at work.
There was only one moment I was alone with my father and he called me out on that lie subtly. All he mentioned was the article and he told me the same thing that everyone else did: it’ll pass.
He didn’t say a word about Mom. He didn’t let on that it was obvious there was tension between us. He knows I think he hit her. He knows everyone thinks it.
But in that moment at the restaurant when everyone left and I had to go back for the to-go box of leftovers I’d forgotten, he didn’t mention a damn thing but the article when I ran into him scribbling on the receipt at the table.
Three days of feeling insignificant and like I’m only playing a part in a poorly written film. Four times I tried to reason with my mother, coaxing her to tell me the truth when we were alone. All four times she denied anything had happened other than her being careless. Even when I stared at the other bruises. I’ve never seen a sad smile on my mother’s face until I said I was leaving. I’m just not sure what she’s most sorry about.
I need to see you. My text to Cody remains unsent even though he’s back in town and so am I. But we haven’t seen each other. I spent two days at home before forcing my way back into the office at work.
Claire only agreed because I promised I had no intention of doing anything but paperwork.
There’s always plenty of that to do, was her answer.
It wasn’t a yes and it wasn’t a no. So here I stand, in my office staring between the piles of cases that need to be sorted and filed electronically and my empty cup of coffee. Aaron is technically in charge of these tasks, but I’m grateful to simply be doing something and he’s grateful for the help.
If I told a younger version of myself who thrived on working in the field that I’d be hiding behind files in a silent office for days on end because of PR pressure … I would have snorted the most disbelieving laugh followed by a quick, “Fucking hell I will.”
Reality is a bitter pill to swallow sometimes.
The rap of a quick knock at the door is a pleasant distraction. “It’s open.”
Claire’s gaze moves from me to the stack of folders over a foot high and the open cardboard filing box. “You busy?” As she asks, her smile quirks up and her left brow raises comically.
“I think I need another coffee before I dive into the next stack,” I comment offhandedly. “You have something for me?”
At my question, she makes her way into my office, closing the door behind her with a soft click.
“Just checking on you.”
With my head down, moving several folders from one pile to the next, I peek up at her and her dark gray skirt suit before answering. “I don’t need checking on.”
“Of course you do.” My motion pauses in the air, a manila folder in my clutches before she adds, “We all do.”
I’ve been an honor roll student, salutatorian, and been given every kind of overachiever trophy a person can be awarded. I don’t like the idea of being someone who needs to be “checked up on.”
“I’m good. Almost through with this stack and then it’ll be ready