mean, it can’t be. What? He’s in Connecticut. He has a Nick thing.
“N-Nash?” I sputter.
“What are you—?” he asks, eyes wide in alarm.
Then they flicker forward, to the cupcakes.
Back to me.
Cupcakes.
Me.
“Kels?”
April 6
Ariel Goldberg ArielGoldberg 1 hr
Look at these beauties thanks to OneTruePastry!!
#ReadBetweenTheLies
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Sophie unicornbooks 37min
SOUND THE ALARM, I AM 99% SURE KELS IS HERE
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Elle Carter ellewriteswords 5min
… and I’m 99% sure that’s Nash_Stevens27 with her?! cc
AmysBookshelf s_lee244
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Amy Chen AmysBookshelf 3min
WHAT.
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Samira Lee s_lee244 1min
???
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Elle Carter ellewriteswords 25s
lol that hand holding is the opposite of romantic
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Samira Lee s_lee244 now
brb blowing up nash’s phone as we speak
TWENTY-THREE
I’m wrong,” Nash says. “Tell me I’m wrong. Please.”
And that’s how I know I’m the reason he’s here.
Not me, Halle.
Me, Kels.
There never was a Nick thing—it was always a Kels thing. With this realization, my cheeks flush pink and I clench my fists so tight I make fingernail marks in my palms. Focus on the pain of nails attempting to break flesh.
I knew Nash probably still had some feelings and questions. But this is more than that. Nash came all the way to Boston to maybe meet another girl, and that hurts. Even if that girl wound up also being me—he didn’t know that.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
Nash blinks, still so confused. “Kels?”
The second time he says my name, it is twenty levels too loud and suddenly it is chaos. Random pairs of eyes flash to us, to me. A blonde girl behind Nash asks if it’s true, if I’m Kels. She may as well have screamed because it sets off a ripple effect of questioning for confirmation, of professing their fandom, of gushing over my cupcakes. People pull out their phones and start taking photos and in an instant, my face is going to be plastered all over Book Twitter. My anonymity is officially gone. And not in the Hey, you made these awesome cupcakes and have amazing book taste type of way I’d always imagined.
Nash stands. He takes my hand and pulls me through the crowd, through the noise, to the quiet outside. Away from the cupcakes and Ariel Goldberg fans asking if I am Kels, excited that I’m Kels, with absolutely zero awareness that my whole life is blowing up right in front of my face. The moment we’re away from the crowd, Nash drops my hand like it is on fire and continues straight out the door.
I push through the double doors after him and even though he’s stopped out front I don’t stop walking. I put as much space between Kels and Central Square Books as I can. I focus on speed walking in wedges that pinch my toes with every step. Cross the street and turn the corner, don’t stop. I don’t know what to feel first, who to feel it for.
Halle is freaked because she is caught red-handed in her lie.
Kels is overwhelmed by her whole online world exploding.
Halle is crushed because Nash lied too.
Three blocks later, I am sitting on an empty bench, my arms wrapped around my knees. Nash arrives and paces back and forth the length of the bench. He runs a hand through his hair and I know he’s waiting for me to speak, but I’ve never been so lost for words.
He needs to believe it, so I flip my phone screen to show him One True Pastry’s Twitter account. To show him my blown-up notifications, the pictures, the excitement surrounding the fact that I, Kels, showed up to the Ariel Goldberg event. Even bigger news to Book Twitter? Nash and Kels being spotted there. Together. IRL.
“Kels,” Nash repeats.
I swallow my scream. “A Nick thing?”
His mouth drops open. “Well—”
“There never was a Nick thing. It was a Kels thing.”
“Holy shit, Halle. Does it even matter? You’re the same person!”
“You didn’t know that!” I say.
“Yeah but you did. Rewind. Let’s talk about that. You’re Kels.”
He still says it like it’s another language.
I nod. “I’m Kels.”
“Kels,” he repeats. His voice cracks and I want to bury my face in my knees. He sits next to me on the bench and closes his eyes and I know he’s pressed rewind. Back to every moment I sort of slipped, every chance he had to put the pieces together. Every time he mentioned Kels and I nodded along. Every time he told me the stories of his life that I already knew. Every time he texted me, Halle, and me, Kels, simultaneously.