He pulls back to look at me. “You being a party pooper?”
“I’m being realistic,” I quip, shifting out of his embrace and back to my pillow. “Whether Jett is with Jesse or not is irrelevant. We’re still parents.”
He makes a throaty sound. “Babe, I’m not suggesting we rob a freaking bank. I just mean it would be nice not to have to worry about the kid for a few hours.”
I laugh again, but there’s not a stitch of humor in it this time. “That’s just it. Whether he’s here or not, I’m going to worry about him.” And when did we start calling him ‘the kid’ anyway?
“I’m just saying it’d do us good to get out.” His sigh reeks of irritation and that fuels mine. “But since that’s where you seem to want to go with this conversation, maybe this is a good time to talk about Jesse stepping it up.”
“What?” I sit up quickly, blankets falling around my waist as I twist toward him with a scowl. “What’s your deal all of the sudden?”
“My deal? All I did was suggest we live it up a little. You’re the one getting pissy.”
“Live it up like we did before we had Jett. Which isn’t possible.”
In the glow of the moonlight streaming through the window, his clean-shaven jaw tenses as his gaze shifts to the ceiling.
“And what exactly are you suggesting Jesse do differently? He hasn’t missed a single visit in four years, he does all of the driving, he calls or texts almost daily…” What the heck more could he possibly do?
Lane folds an arm behind his head. “Jett’s getting older,” he says tightly. “Maybe it’s time to up his visitation.”
The whirling in my stomach rises to my throat. “Up his visitation?”
“He’s getting to the age where he’s going to need his dad around more.”
So many simultaneous thoughts zip through my mind that the room spins. For one, being without Jett every other weekend is hard enough. But more frequently? I could throw up just thinking about it.
And why does Lane suddenly sound so resentful? Like Jett is an inconvenience. Is it a new development or has he always felt this way?
But most unnerving is that he seems to have forgotten his role in Jett’s life. Jett may not call him Dad, but he’s been a father figure to him since the day he was born.
“He has you, too,” I remind him, frustration beginning to burn in my chest. “If you’re suggesting he needs more of a male role model, he has you.”
Lane’s face remains still, expression unchanging. Given the direction this conversation has taken, I half expect him to respond with something cold and asinine like, ‘Well, he’s not my kid, so…’
“I know that,” he says instead, but my relief is minimal. This is a conversation I never expected we’d have. “And you know I love him to death…” He shuffles the hand behind his head through his hair uncomfortably. “But it’s pretty obvious you prefer Jesse’s parenting over mine. I mean, let’s be real here.”
Wait, what? I pull back, blinking. “What are you talking about?”
“Look at how quick you were to defend him and rattle off all of the shit he does. Hasn’t missed a visit, calls all the fucking time…” His voice takes on a mocking lilt and I want to throttle him with my pillow.
“He does do those things! But that doesn’t mean I prefer him over you. It’s just… he’s a good dad.”
Lane’s cold gaze flicks to me before he swings his legs over the side of the bed, giving me his back. “Wow.”
“He is, Lane. You can’t deny that.” It might not be what he wants to hear, but it’s the truth. “It doesn’t mean that Jett doesn’t need you in his life just as much.”
“Just as much…” He scrubs his hands over his face. “Jett needs me just as much as a guy he sees four days a month. Four fucking days, Hayden. While we bust our asses here the other twenty-seven.” He laughs bitterly. “Seems fair to me.”
“This isn’t about what’s fair and not fair…” I shake my head. “We’re parents, not kindergarteners.”
“Oh, so I’m a child now. Is that what you’re saying? Me wanting to get out and live a little makes me a child. Fucking nice.” He jolts upright and spins to face me. “How the hell did I become the bad guy in this? When I’m