a hollow addiction. I couldn’t wait for it to wear off. “When will my roommate show up?” I asked. “Will she be required to go?”
Diego frowned. “She will be here tonight. We had to wean her off bloodlust before it was safe to bring her here. I’m not particularly thrilled about it all. I think Granny Fang is punishment for changing you against the rules. The council is trying to make me look weak, and I don’t know why.”
“Vampire politics sound very complicated. Is this a democracy or…” I asked. My mind wandered to visions of a vampire election. I wouldn’t mind seeing Diego standing on a podium, debating someone about vamp rights. Did we have a national anthem? A flag?
“Royalty is chosen by bloodline. I come from a long line of powerful kings. Our council is determined by coven votes, but the same seven powerful families have held council seats for as long as I can remember. My father was king. His father. His father’s father.”
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “When you say father, what exactly do you mean?” I asked. Was the person who turned you your father? I didn’t understand.
Diego smiled. “I mean the man who impregnated my mother. You either become a vampire by birth or by venom. In our community, the elites are created by birth. Lowest ranking vampires are changed. That’s why it’s a bit of a scandal that the vampire king changed a human. You skipped a few ranks by drinking my blood, and there are a lot of people not happy with that.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m breaking glass ceilings all over the place. By the way, thank you for whatever you said to my boss. She’s let me work from here, and I even came up with some otherworldly products. I’m going to pitch more than just alien dicks.”
Diego cocked his eyebrow and shook his head. “Your job is very strange, Drew.”
“Anyhow,” I continued, ignoring his comment, “can I please see a vampire dick? Are they bigger than the average dick? And what about shifters? Do those exist? What do their dicks look like? I’m thinking about starting an entire supernatural line of dildos. We’ll call it Out of This World. Fairy dicks. Succubus. It’ll make a fortune!!”
Diego blinked once. Then twice.
“Would you like to see my dick, Drew?” he asked, shocking the hell out of me.
I swallowed. Yes. I’d very much like to see it, but even though my vampire brain wanted to please the asshole, I refused to give him the satisfaction. “If you could just find me your biggest vampire, that will do the trick. I can have molds sent here, and we’ll make a replica.”
“I’m the biggest vampire here,” Diego growled.
“Your ego is cute when you feel challenged,” I replied with a wink.
A pleasant chime sounded, saving me from Diego’s wrath. I looked around the room to see where it was coming from, and my eyes settled on a built-in speaker near the ceiling. The chimes were followed by an ethereal feminine voice telling all Level Ones that it was time for group therapy.
“What is this, high school?” I snickered. “Is there going to be a lunch and recess bell too?” Diego did not look amused with me. I almost felt bad for him. Almost. I’m sure he had never had to deal with anyone who didn’t immediately bend to his will. But this was good for him. Patience is a virtue after all.
“No…” Diego started to respond, looking annoyed.
I interrupted him and continued my thought, “And what did she mean ‘Level Ones’? Why are Level One recordings playing in my room? I thought you said I skipped a few levels because of your blood and stuff.”
“Yes, you did. But I’m not going to change the recording to say ‘Level Ones plus Drew,’ so get over yourself. For the remainder of your transition, consider yourself a Level One. Now get out of here.”
I quickly rummaged through one of my opened boxes and found a pink notebook with a picture of a kitten wearing a tiara along with a bedazzled pen. I made my way to the door, stuck my tongue out at Diego, and sprinted out before he could lecture me on respect again.
I made my way down to the rec hall in time to hear the therapist introduce herself as Eva. I tried to quietly take the last open seat in the circle, but I guess tardiness was also a sin in the