Well This Sucks - CoraLee June Page 0,26

was going. I stopped and turned to look at Diego. He was still standing by the elevator bank with a smirk on his face, watching me.

“It’s this way, Miss Independent,” he said, nodding his head in the opposite direction.

“Where are we?”

“Come on, I’ll explain as we go.”

“Fine. I’ll follow you, but don’t you dare interpret this as me trying to please you,” I said, walking over to him.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re kind of cute when you’re all worked up?”

I rolled my eyes and huffed at him. But I secretly kind of liked that he thought I was cute. Not that I would ever admit it. Diego began walking down the hallway, and I fell in step with him as we passed door after door. The hallway with endless doors reminded me of the dorms from my college days. The color scheme was as depressing as the dorms too. The worn carpeting was a deep gray with a black diamond pattern. The paint on the walls may have been white at some point, but now they were all faded to a dingy beige.

“Have you considered updating the decor to something a little less dismal?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.

“The permanent resident floors are much nicer. This is just where the fledglings stay for the first few weeks while they adjust,” he replied, chuckling at the look on my face.

“Oh, okay. Wait, what?” I stopped in my tracks.

“Think about it like a boot camp,” Diego said as he stopped walking and turned to face me. “You’ll be with other new vampires who are in various stages of transition. You’ll have coaches and mentors to help you unlock your new abilities. But most importantly, they will help you control your urges and teach you everything you need to know to be a functioning vampire in a world of humans. I was going to properly get you settled in earlier, but since you decided to run away, you get the less than glamorous tour.”

“One, you sound like a brochure. Two, I don’t have weeks. Lacey is expecting me back at work in a couple of days. I can’t exactly call in undead. Three, there is no way in hell I’m going to vampire school. I’m thirty. My college days are over.”

He was insane if he thought I was going to drop everything and move to Vampire Academy. How would I explain disappearing for weeks at a time to Lacey? I didn’t need to have my phone to know that Ryan and Yaz had tried to call and text an obscene number of times and were probably irritated with not hearing back from me.

“You’re being dramatic. And to be blunt, weeks is an optimistic estimate. You surprised me by not killing anyone today, but most vampires need a little longer. We have therapists on the floor to also help with your transition. This is a big change for your body and lifestyle. We want to support you any way we can.”

“This is worse than when my mother gave me the sex talk.”

Diego frowned. “The alternative is death and damnation.”

“You’ll kill me?” I asked incredulously.

“You act surprised. Have you not listened to a single word I’ve said? Do I need to simplify it for you? Me, king of the vampires. You, unsanctioned fledgling. If you don’t do as I say, you’ll die. A bag of dildos is not worth your life, is it?”

He was right. Maybe I was in denial?

Okay, I was in denial. But I hated this. I didn’t ask to become a vampire. I started to hyperventilate. I needed a break.

“I want my pussy,” I croaked.

“Excuse me?” Diego asked.

“I need pussy now,” I reiterated.

“I...was not expecting that response to a death threat. I suppose I could introduce you to some people if you’d like—” Diego looked both horrified and intrigued.

“No,” I interrupted. “I’m talking about my cat. Her name is Pussy. I really would like her here.”

“Oh! Well, that’s probably not a good idea,” Diego replied while scratching his head. “You might get hungry and drink her blood. Hah. Pussy blood. Did you name your cat Pussy for the puns?”

I started to cry. This was not very funny. I was leaving denial and heading straight toward manic station. Full speed ahead. Diego’s face softened as he watched me melt down, and he reached out, putting his hand on my shoulder.

“Drew, it will be okay. I promise, once you make it through the transition, you can lead an almost normal life again.