venue and show them just how great you’re doing. You need to wear your best suit.”
I nod. “Done.”
“And you can’t ever frown. Not once.” She takes another sip from her iced tea, and I momentarily dream of her lips wrapped around something of mine. Fuck, I need to stop. “You frown a lot when you talk about Jessica.”
“Wow, really? What a surprise.” My sarcastic tone doesn’t faze her.
“Let go of all that bitterness and act like the king you are,” she says, sounding like my personal motivational speaker. “You’re very successful at your job.”
True. That’s about the only thing that gives me real satisfaction these days. Some might call me a workaholic. Once upon a time, Jessica called me exactly that.
I always wondered if that was part of the reason she cheated on me. Maybe I wasn’t fulfilling her needs. Those last few months leading up to the wedding, our sex life had taken a nosedive. She wasn’t interested, and I was too tired to care. I figured stress from wedding planning was making her exhausted.
Turns out she was just getting plenty of dick from my cousin and didn’t want mine anymore.
“And you need to act like you own that shit when you walk into that church or wherever they’re getting married,” she continues.
“You want to hear something funny?” When she nods, I continue, “They’re getting married here. Out on the lawn.” I wave a hand in the direction of the ocean.
Kelsey rolls her eyes. “Of course they are. Want me to sabotage the wedding? I could. Or maybe I could mess with the catering at the reception. I’m sure that’s being held here too, right?”
“There will be no sabotaging or ruining food at the wedding,” I tell her, though I’m semi-grateful she offered. “I don’t need to get revenge that way.”
“Right.” She nods. Smiles, though it’s a vicious smile. Something you’d see on Maleficent’s face right before she poisons someone. “The best way to get revenge on your ex is by showing how much you don’t need or miss her.”
Right after Jessica dumped me, that would’ve been impossible. And while my best friend Paul was doing his best to cheer me up by forcing me to go on a blind date with the very sweet Eleanor, that just didn’t work. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind. I was down in the dumps and in that moment, there was nowhere else I’d rather be.
Kelsey helped get me out of the dumps. I have plenty of friends. I spend a lot of time with my brothers. But having a woman friend whose no-nonsense attitude and gives great insight into how the female mind works is invaluable.
“Just like you were talking about,” I tell her.
She nods. “Exactly. Too bad you haven’t found yourself a woman yet. Like, an actual girlfriend.”
“Right.” I hand over a couple of fries and she greedily takes them.
“I suppose…” Her gaze grows thoughtful as she chews on the fries I gave her. “I could hang all over you and convince them that you’re getting fucked—and well—every single night.”
I nearly spit out the beer I just sipped. It takes everything for me to choke it down and I still end up coughing.
“What? Are you saying you don’t want me to do that?” she asks with a little laugh.
I get over my coughing fit before I wheeze out, “Please tell me exactly what you’re referring to.”
If she’s asking if I don’t want to get fucked by her every single night, then she’s dead wrong. But I can’t take our relationship in that direction, so I keep my secret naked Kelsey fantasies to myself.
Sex will ruin everything between us. I can’t risk it. I value her friendship too much.
“I’m referring to the idea of us showing up to this wedding and acting like a loving couple.” That vicious little smile returns. “Wouldn’t it be fantastic? Me draped all over your arm, my boobs pressed against your chest. You could kiss me out on the dancefloor during the reception. I’d allow you at least one. Even with tongue.”
“This is probably not a good idea,” I say cautiously, pushing all thoughts of wrapping my tongue around Kelsey’s firmly into the darkest corner of my brain. Exactly where it wants to be, conjuring up all sorts of dark fantasies involving Kelsey. And me.
“Oh, come on, it won’t be that bad. It could actually be kind of fun, right?” She leans over and socks my arm lightly, right before she reaches for my