But you’ve been planning this since you were like NINE, Gen types.
PARIS??? I tap out.
There’s another pause while Sophie records another message.
‘I can’t be bothered to type it,’ Sophie says, and I can hear Rich laughing in the background. ‘We’re on the way to Paris on the train for a honeymoon. Turns out that being spontaneous is quite fun, actually. Love you both, speak to you when I get back …’
And she types in a string of kisses.
I sit back and put my phone down and for a second I think I’m going to cry again. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. It feels like everyone is moving on except me. Yet again I wonder if I should just give up trying to be a London person, and head back to Bournemouth with my tail between my legs. I’ve got a million and one old school friends back there, and Gen and Soph visit all the time. Sophie’s even muttered once or twice about moving back, because you get so much more house for your money, and she likes the idea of the baby living by the sea. But I don’t know.
I begin to type a message to Becky, just to see how it feels if I see it written down.
Hi Beck, I begin. I’ve been thinking that maybe London life isn’t for me. I’ve decided to hand in my notice on the room, and head back to the beach.
Alex
How anyone could amass so much random stuff in the space of a year is pretty amazing. I shove a pile of scrappy course notes into a box, and tip the contents of my desk drawer out to see if there’s anything in there worth salvaging.
‘All right, mate?’
I look up to see Rob in the doorway. He’s in chef’s trousers and a black T-shirt, and he’s growing a beard. He’s looking good. Happy.
‘No’ going to be the same without you here. D’you reckon you’ll come back and see us now and then?’
I grin up at him, touched. Not only has Rob given me a decent bit of life advice here and there, he’s also taught me how to make a mean lamb jalfrezi and all the trimmings.
‘Now and then,’ I say, feeling a bit sad, knowing it’s not that likely. I can’t face coming back to see Jess and James all loved up and cosy. It already feels weird, because I haven’t seen her in weeks. I miss our talks. London felt different when I was sharing it with her – as if I was seeing it for the first time all over again. But – I shake myself, mentally – that’s over. ‘But I’ve got a really busy year coming up with college.’
‘Aye,’ Rob says, nodding. ‘I bet. Have you seen Jess recently?’
‘Not really,’ I say, looking down at the stuff on my desk. I pick up a jade green stone I was given at a fortune-telling stall when Jess and I were wandering around Camden, and I shove it in my pocket.
‘You know her trip to Venice didn’t go all that well?’
My head snaps up and I look at Rob, saying more sharply than I mean to, ‘What d’you mean? Is she okay?’
‘Oh she’s fine, I think. Wee bit quiet. Less of the romantic break, more of the break-up.’
My heart bangs against my ribs. ‘Break-up?’ It feels as if the blood is rushing in my ears.
‘Aye.’ Rob looks at me, levelly. ‘Told me a while ago when we were having breakfast. We were talking about this and that, and she just came out with it. Said she realised she didn’t feel anything for him but friendship, so when he asked her to move in, she gave him the heave-ho.’
‘Ouch,’ I say, to cover my elation.
He nods. ‘Aye. Anyway—’ Rob sticks his hand out, and I stand up and make as if to shake it, but he pulls me into a bear hug and slaps me firmly on the back. As he lets go, he murmurs in his gruff Glasgow accent, ‘Reckon you should be having a wee think about telling Jess how you feel.’
‘Me?’ I’m surprised that Rob seems to have picked up on what’s going on – or should I say, what’s not going on. I sigh.
‘Aye. You. No point missing the boat, eh? I’ll see you later, pal.’
And with a wave of his arm, Rob pulls the door closed behind him and leaves me standing in a sea of cardboard