on me. My heart is like our old Kubota tractor that’s always in need of repair. You replace one part on it, and something else immediately breaks.
And the fact remains that no man I’ve ever had feelings for has returned them with the same fervor. Never. And I’m starting to wonder if one ever will.
It doesn’t keep me from hoping. I follow Rickie with my eyes wherever he goes. On Friday afternoon I walk past the cider house where he and Dylan are supposed to be scrubbing out barrels in preparation for the first press next month.
And they’re arguing. So—like anyone with three siblings has learned to do—I stand beside the open door like a creeper and eavesdrop.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Dylan is saying.
Oh no. Could this be about me?
“I wanted to,” Rickie says in a low voice. “I can do as I please.”
My face heats. Please don’t let this be about me.
“It’s too much,” Dylan says. “I don’t like owing anybody.”
Rickie makes an irritated sound. “That wasn’t why I did it. You don’t owe me anything. We’ve been over this.”
“I could have waited, you know. I’m patient.”
“Yeah, but now you can be choosy about your timing. I didn’t need the money. Money is, like, the only thing I don’t have to worry about right now.”
My heart gives a little sympathetic squeeze. What is Rickie so worried about?
“Dylan—” my other brother’s voice cuts in. “Just say thank you already. This is not that complicated.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dylan mutters. “Okay, thank you. It’s gonna make me look like a bigger stud than I already am.”
Rickie laughs, and the sound of it gives me a fluttery feeling in my chest. “There, was that so hard? You’re welcome, punk.”
I’m just about to walk away when I hear Dylan say my name. “Hey—Chass asked Daphne about her housing situation this fall. And she sounds like she might actually consider moving in with us.”
“Oh,” Rickie says slowly. “That’s cool. That will make it so much more convenient when we’re dating.”
My eyes bug out.
“Come again?” Griffin grumbles. But Dylan laughs.
I trot away from that door as fast as I can. Everything about Rickie confuses me.
Everything.
On Friday night, it’s hot again, and really sticky, too. We’re all a little beaten down by the unrelenting heat and the humidity. Mom puts a window fan in the dining room so we can get through dinner without melting. She serves Caesar salads with fresh bread and grilled chicken that Grandpa tends on the Webber outside.
Rickie sits at the opposite end of the table. Again. But even so, I keep catching him staring at me when he thinks I’m not looking. And the expression on his face is soft, too. There’s a fondness there that’s hard to hide.
But he’s staying away from me, and I don’t understand why.
“Let’s go to the swimming hole after dinner,” Dylan says. “Griff and Audrey have been hanging out there with Gus. Griff told me he even mowed the grass.”
“Where is this place?” Rickie asks.
“Down the road, just a mile and a half. We can bike it or drive.”
“Sounds fun,” Rickie says. Then his eyes flicker toward me again before he looks away.
And I ask myself an important question. What would Violet do?
It only takes me a minute to think of the answer. Wear a tiny bikini.
Duh.
Two hours later I’m sitting on my towel, which is spread on the grass at the edge of the swimming hole. This place is about the size of a modest backyard pool, filled by moving water and surrounded by rocks. It’s fed by a creek that drops the water down a two-foot waterfall.
My brothers are geniuses, I guess, because I feel so much better now that I’ve dunked myself into the water. And now we’re eating ice cream cones that Audrey and Griffin brought us.
“Why haven’t we come here every night?” Rickie asks, licking his cone. He looks cheerier than he’s looked in days.
“We never used to come here,” Dylan admits from the pool itself, where he’s standing with Chastity. “Why is that?”
“Because Chasternak was a jerk about it way back when he owned the land,” Griffin says. He’s holding onto my nephew, while Audrey shares a cone with the little guy. “There were No Trespassing signs posted on every tree. The one time I brought friends here, he called Dad and made a stink about it.”
“But it’s ours now,” Dylan says. “Another perk of buying the Abrahams’ land.”
“You and Daphne had a baby pool,” Griffin continues. “I don’t know