He lifts his gaze to mine, finally, and I’m shocked to see dark circles under his eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a week. And I must be pretty bad at disguising my surprise, because he winces. "You okay?" I whisper.
"Of course," he says. His index finger slips artfully across the back of my hand as he takes the mug of coffee from me, leaving tingles on my skin.
I look up at him, encouraged by this small display of warmth. But the back door opens, and Rickie turns away from me as Dylan enters the kitchen, with Chastity bringing up the rear.
"Oooh, pancakes," my brother says, grabbing a plate.
"You’re on cleanup duty," I point out. "It’s Wednesday, so we’re heading to Burlington at ten."
"Yeah, I know," my brother says, stealing one right off the griddle and handing the plate to Chastity. "Rickie is staying here today."
"What?" I say, and it comes out as a squeak. "Why?"
The man in question uses the ladle to pour another pancake onto my griddle. "I’m gonna help Dylan catch up on some maintenance, and just Zoom into my class."
"Oh," I say, thrown. That's exactly the suggestion I’d made to him a few weeks ago, back when I was trying to stay out of Rickie’s orbit.
And now he’s taking that suggestion, and I'm so disappointed.
"But don’t worry!" Dylan says, oblivious to my despair. "Chastity is going with you instead. You'll have to drive, but she'll hop out and make the deliveries, so you don't need to park."
"Okay, sure," I say breezily. "But what's she going to do for five hours while I'm at work?"
"Buy a computer!" Chastity crows, bouncing back into the kitchen. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time. And I finally have the cash." Her smile is like sunshine.
Even I’m not a big enough bitch to rain on that level of glee. "Okay, that's really great."
"After the store sets it up for me, I’ll entertain myself at the library. It's all good."
I guess that's settled, then. I make a couple of pancakes for myself, and for my mom. And then I get ready to hit the road.
An hour later I'm burning up the highway miles toward Burlington, with the applejack delivery—and Chastity—in tow.
Conversation doesn’t flow easily. Chastity will probably become my sister-in-law someday, so I should really make an effort.
She and I have never had much in common, but that’s not the real problem. I’m so distracted by the questions swirling around in my heart. Why did Rickie look so beat? And why is he blowing off our Wednesday?
Our Wednesday. Just listen to me. I don’t even know myself anymore. A new wave of frustration washes over me. Who's going to make me stop for ice cream and give me the fuck-me eyes?
This is why I avoid tattooed hotties with pretty gray eyes. They’re addicting.
"Hey, Daph?" Chastity says suddenly.
"Sorry, what?" I ask guiltily. "I'm a little distracted."
"That’s okay. I was just thinking about the school year. And I know money is tight this year. I mean, money is always tight. But I also know that it, uh, bothers you."
"True enough." Have they been discussing me? Is it worse than I even realized?
"I just wonder why you never considered living with us at Rickie's place in Burlington. There’s one more bedroom. And it's so cheap."
"How cheap, exactly?" I hear myself ask. When Dylan had brought up this possibility last Christmas, I'd said that I wasn’t interested. I didn’t want my brother all up in my business.
I still don't. But my first housing payment is due very soon. And now I have a fuller picture of the financial strain, plus grad school to consider.
"Rickie owns that house. I'm not exactly sure how. He doesn’t talk about it. But next year Dylan and I are only kicking in, like, a hundred dollars each every month. Rickie is covering the taxes by renting it out this summer.”
"One hundred dollars?" That can’t be right.
"That’s what he said. It covers heat and utilities. But Rickie says he doesn’t need to charge actual rent. So Dylan and I decided we're going to cover all of the grocery bills, too. Even if we’re always treating Rickie, it's still a whole lot cheaper than a dining hall plan."
"Wow. That's crazy. Rickie is crazy. He could get so much more than that."
"You’re not wrong. But the money doesn’t seem to matter to him. So think about it, okay? That fifth bedroom is pretty small,