from my open window—the occasional deep-voiced bullfrog. Or the hoot of an owl. Sometimes we hear the howling of coyotes. But not tonight. There’s mostly stillness.
A working farm always goes to bed early and gets up at dawn. I’ve never fit the farmer mold. I was that kid who stayed up too late reading, or daydreaming about traveling to teeming, foreign cities.
During high school, I did as much farm work as everyone else. Maybe even more than my lazy twin. But at the same time, I was plotting my escape. I was the valedictorian of my high school class. I got the highest SAT score that my school counselor had ever seen. I figured out that the very best colleges had the best financial aid. So I set my sights on Harkness. It worked, too. My Early Action application was accepted during December of my senior year. A fat financial aid award followed.
I’d done it. I’d shot the moon.
Now here I sit in my childhood bedroom, preparing to transfer to the same public university half my high school class attends. I’m bitter about it. I just can’t let it show. My goal is to work so hard that everyone will be too impressed to question my motivation.
Fooling people is easy, apparently. I know firsthand. Because I’m usually the fool.
Right on cue, as I shut out the light, my mind goes immediately to Rickie. And that kiss. I still don’t quite understand what happened there.
He’d kissed me when I least expected it. Who does that?
And then I’d gone along with it. The boy is seriously seductive. There’s no arguing that. But seduction is dangerous.
I try to relax against the pillow. It’s no use thinking about Rickie while I’m lying in bed. He’s just across the hall in Dylan’s childhood room, probably passed out in my brother’s bed.
That’s why he flirts with me, I think. I’m conveniently located a few paces away. He’s horny. He’s lonely. And I’m right across the hall.
I just wish I didn’t find him so attractive. All that male beauty is a little intimidating. Those tattoos. That golden skin and dark blond hair…
Okay, stop it, I chide myself. Thinking sexy thoughts about him isn’t going to help. I usually think of myself as a strong, independent woman. A scholar. A crusader for women’s health. It’s painfully obvious that I don’t understand men. No—it’s worse than that. When I’m attracted to someone, I seem to lose the ability to see things as they really are.
And when the right man seduces me—especially if he praises me—I somehow lose the capacity for rational judgment. Reardon had said I was pretty. He’d said, I need you so much. And I’d believed him. Every time.
Hell, even if a man smiles at me, I’m ready to believe that it means something. That’s how I ended up carrying a torch all those years for Zach, our family friend. I thought his easy smile—the same one he gave everyone—meant more when it was aimed at me.
Somehow my finely calibrated bullshit meter breaks when a man gives me special attention. My inner needy girl takes over, and I lose myself too easily.
Today—in the truck with Rickie—I’d felt the familiar pull. Even afterward, watching him lick a chocolate cone while he tried to get me to laugh, I’d looked into those sparkly gray eyes and I’d wanted to believe.
In what, I’m not exactly sure. Attraction is the devil.
Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift to the afternoon. But who could blame me? Ice cream before dinner is about as wild as my life gets. That kiss was definitely a high point. And—even weirder—it worked. I felt calmer afterward, enjoying a maple creemee at a shady picnic table.
I was actually sad to leave. Rickie handed me the keys to my brother’s truck and asked if I minded driving, because I knew the way back from exit 6B. It was a blessing, actually, because otherwise I probably would have spent those last few miles trying not to stare at him.
An owl hoots outside, and I’m almost ready to sleep, when I suddenly remember something strange. That time we shared a ride to Connecticut, we’d met up at exit 6B to drive back to school. I’d gotten into Rickie’s car—without makeup—ready to hit the road. And I’d told him how to get back onto the southbound highway.
But today, he seemed baffled about it all over again.
I sit up in bed suddenly—as if this will all make more sense in a