was halfway down the block before she realized she hadn’t bothered to put her coat back on. Part of her wanted to scream and throw things, while another part wanted to curl up in bed and have a long cry. She would have been a certified surgeon in less than three months. All of her hard work had been for nothing.
She looked up at the cloudy sky. “Why, God? Why has this happened? I’ve tried only to do what was right. I’ve tried only to serve you and others, and look what it has gotten me. I do not understand this at all!”
A Bible verse came to mind. Proverbs three, verse five. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
She tried to quiet her spirit. Her own understanding was failing her once again, and the Scripture said she needed to trust in the Lord . . . with all her heart.
“God, I do trust you, but I do not understand this. Not even in part.” She felt tears come to her eyes. “Help me, please.”
CHAPTER 17
Faith found the house quiet when she returned. The Clifton sisters had gone out on some mission, and Mimi and Clementine were at the school, teaching. Faith had no idea where Nancy might be, but it was just as well. She didn’t want to talk to anyone just now.
She deposited her satchel in her room and wondered what to do. Her thoughts were completely fixed on Samuel Lakewood’s being responsible for her dismissal from the college. Part of her wondered how she might get back at him for what he’d done. She was angry and hurt, and the idea of hurting him in return was at the forefront of her mind. However, she knew that wasn’t what God would want. God would call her to give it over to Him—to let go of the wrongs done to her by man and trust that He could make all things work together for good.
“But how can any good come of this?” She sighed and stretched out on her bed. “What am I to do, Lord?”
She heard the knocker sound at the front door. The last thing she wanted was to entertain someone coming to call. Perhaps Mrs. Weaver would hear it from upstairs and take care of it herself. When the knock came again, however, Faith knew no one else would save her from the task.
She took her time but finally opened the door to find a young man, probably no more than sixteen. He held out a piece of paper.
“This here is for Miss Faith Kenner,” he said. “No money needed. The captain already paid me.”
Faith took the folded paper and smiled. The only captain who would be writing to her was Andrew. “Thank you.” She opened the note as the boy made his way back down the walk.
We’re in Portland, and Remli demanded I invite you for lunch. He’s making beef pasties.
Smiling, Faith felt a sense of calm. She could go to lunch and explain everything that had happened to Andrew. He might have some good ideas as to how she could fight the situation. And if all else failed, she’d arrange a trip home to see her father and get his legal advice.
She went back to her room and began to plan what she would wear. Andrew was used to seeing her in her uniform. It might be nice to put on one of her better outfits and do up her hair in a more fashionable style.
Faith studied herself in the mirror. Her reflection served as a reminder of all that she kept hidden. Her Cayuse heritage was disguised by the way she dressed as well as the icy blue eyes she’d inherited from her mother. In the summer, Faith’s skin tanned to brown, making her look more like her Indian ancestors, but she always did her best to stay out of the sun, lest someone question her. It wasn’t so much to keep people from hurting her as it was to protect her mother. While family knew the truth, no one else did. Not even her mother’s closest friends were privy to the story of Faith’s conception, and Faith intended to keep it that way. If the truth leaked out, her mother would suffer.
Even though it was only nine o’clock, Faith went to work readying herself for her visit to the Morning Star. She found Nancy’s curling iron and started it heating, then went to figure