I saw that exact storyline on TV the other day." When I noticed Jude was watching me with interest, I added, "What? I was channel surfing."
"Sure you were," Jude said with a smirk. I took my revenge by running my fingers along his side until I found a ticklish spot. I tortured him until he was squirming in my arms and yelling, "Uncle, uncle!"
I took my winnings in the form of a kiss which quickly spiraled out of control. Thankfully, I came to my senses before it crossed the line of no return.
Jude and I were panting heavily but somehow I managed to ask, "So either it was one hell of a coincidence that your tutor had the same last name as you or…" I let my words fall off but when Jude didn’t supply a response, I did it for him. "Or you took her last name because she meant something to you."
"She never let me give up on myself. Never," Jude said almost defiantly. His eyes shifted away from mine and I instantly knew why. For whatever reason, he still felt like he needed to have that little bit of space between us, that little bit of distance that the lack of eye contact could offer. Since I was more interested in keeping Jude talking, I put us back into our original position with his back tucked up against my front.
“I was years behind the other kids my age. All my teachers had found it easier just to let me skate by with barely passing grades. I thought Patricia would be the same. I kept trying to tell her that I'd accepted my fate. That I'd be fine with mopping floors or flipping burgers or whatever, but all that did was piss her off. And Patricia Archer wasn't someone you wanted to piss off," Jude murmured.
"Good," I said softly, which earned me another glance from him as he looked over his shoulder at me. I pinned his eyes and said, "About time you had someone on your side."
Jude held my gaze for a moment and then a slow, soft smile spread across his beautiful mouth. He turned back on his side and said, "She was that and so much more." He paused for a few seconds, presumably lost in his own memories, before he seemed to return to the present.
"She had worked with kids like me before so she had a lot of tips for how to deal with the dyslexia, and no matter how much I argued about it, she promised me it was something that wouldn't stand in the way of any job I wanted. I didn't believe her,” Jude said. "So, of course, she had to prove it to me."
“Did she?”
Jude didn’t respond for a long time. When he did, it tore at my heart in the most painful way. Because while he nodded his head, I didn’t miss the soft sniffle that followed.
Or the hot tears that began to slip down his cheeks.
Chapter 22
Jude
Fuck.
Just fuck.
Epic bathroom sex, deliciously sweet cuddling and now the waterworks.
Right on track as usual, Jude.
I squeezed my eyes closed and willed the tears to stop but rather than use the opportunity to flee, Nikolai chose that moment to drop his mouth to my temple and murmur, “It’s okay, baby. Let it out.”
I shook my head but the tears didn’t stop. It wasn’t okay. This wasn’t okay. I didn’t want to let it out.
Because there wasn’t anything to let out.
Everything was fine.
I was fine, damn it.
I forced my eyes open and immediately saw the little cars on my nightstand, each one a vivid reminder of why I didn’t have the luxury of just letting shit out.
I willed myself to calm down as I began running through the events of my childhood that had earned me each trophy. I lost track of how much time passed before I became aware of the body pressed up against me. Well, curled around me, actually. I’d never woken up in a bed with a man before. On the few occasions I hadn't had sex at a club, I'd either gone to a hotel or the other guy’s place and had left as soon as we’d finished. There'd rarely been a round two with the same guy because I’d gotten what I needed.
So even without the emotional meltdown, I should've been itching to get Nikolai out of my place, out of my sanctuary. I couldn't let myself think about what any of it meant.