I wanted to know what that meant, but I couldn't very well ask. I nodded my head.
"Are you ready to go home or did you want to go to work?" Mike asked politely. Like Nikolai, I was sure he had assumptions about my relationship with Cliff, but he didn't hint at it in any way.
"Home first, then work," I murmured but even as I was saying the words, I realized the very last thing I wanted to do was go to work.
Personal issue? What the hell did that even mean? Did that mean he had an appointment or was it something more serious? Or maybe he had a date?
I hadn't allowed myself to really think about whether or not Nikolai swung my way, but now that I was thinking about it, I was hoping it was true. I was certain I'd felt something between us when he'd held me against my bathroom door, but I'd been pretty preoccupied with a certain fantasy in my head so I hadn't been paying as much attention to him and how he was reacting. In any case, it didn't matter if he was with a guy or girl, I still saw red. Or green, rather.
God, how had I gone from trying to escape the man to now obsessing over his absence and imagining him wrapped around someone else?
With my nerves completely shot, I knew there was no hope of focusing on anything. Moreover, I didn't want to be around any people. The ringing in my ears was making my head pound. I was certain that if even one person spoke to me, my thoughts would shatter into a million pieces. I sent Simon—who had somehow managed to retain his position despite his ineptitude, probably because I’d felt a little sorry for the whole being held at gunpoint thing—a text that I wouldn't be in the office and then told Mike the same.
As the SUV navigated the early morning traffic, I gave in to the feeling of being run over by a truck. I knew it had to be the combination of stress and long hours. I would've loved to have been one of those people who could handle weeks and months of nonstop work, but the limitations of my brain wouldn't allow for that. It required downtime and if I tried to force it beyond its capabilities, I paid dearly for it.
Once the SUV reached my building, Mike escorted me to my apartment. I was glad when he didn't press to enter my residence to look through it. It was something Nikolai had given up on, though he’d continued to do it whenever we’d arrived at the office in the morning. It made me wonder if he’d told Mike not to push to sweep my apartment.
"Is there anything else you need, Mr. Archer?" Mike asked.
"No," I said because he couldn’t give me what I needed. What I needed was a dark room and silence.
And a pair of strong arms to hold me until the world felt normal again…
"I'm here if you need me," Mike said, his voice interrupting the all-too-real sensation of having Nikolai’s body pressed up against the back of mine. "Oh, and by the way, I wanted to thank you for what you did for Nikolai."
I was in the process of entering my apartment, so I turned to look at him and said, "What I did?"
"Dropping the charges like that," Mike said. "I know Nik can be a little rough around the edges, but he takes his job seriously. Not making excuses for what he did that night, but I know it came from a good place. I also know he was willing to take responsibility for what he did. Still, any kind of record would have tanked his career prospects and he just can't afford that right now. Not with what his family…"
Mike seemed to catch himself because he quickly shook his head and smiled slightly. "Well, look at me going on about nothing," he said. "You have yourself a good day, Mr. Archer."
I managed a nod and shut the door. I had no doubt that Mike would be staying outside the door like Nikolai usually did. It was strange that while I still felt safe knowing Mike was there, it was a different kind of safe than when Nikolai was the one standing on the other side of the thick wood.
It made no sense.
I let my thoughts drift to Mike’s comments about Nikolai. From my initial research, I’d figured