Wasted Lust - JA Huss Page 0,33
clean, fresh smell of a recent shower. “You’re not afraid of me,” I say into the shell of her ear. My breath makes her shiver and I’m on the verge of being turned on. “You’re afraid of life. And I just didn’t expect it.”
“I’m not afraid of anything. I can kill you right now if I wanted to. I could end your life. And if you push me, I won’t hesitate.”
“Mmmm,” I say, leaning back so I can look her in the eye again. “We seem to find ourselves in this position a lot today.” She stares up at me. I really didn’t expect fear. But there it is. She’s terrified. “I’ve had you backed up against the wall three times now. Is that how you like it? Forced?”
“Let go.”
“I won’t force you, so if that’s how you want this relationship to start, you’re out of luck.”
“What the hell—”
“I’m just truly surprised that you’re so scared of intimacy. I figured you were one of those academic nerds. Grad school and shit, right? But you’ve been floundering all semester. Even I could see it. And I know you had some big test today and you came out of your office carrying a box, all sad and depressed. So I’m guessing it didn’t go well. But Sasha, you don’t belong here.”
“I do belong here. I came here to make my dream a reality and I can still do that.”
“Can, sure. But you won’t because you belong with me. You know it in your soul. You want what I’m offering.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I let go of a wrist and place two fingertips over her lips. “Don’t talk now. Just listen.” Her eyes dart back and forth, anxious. Her other wrist, still in my grasp, allows me to continue monitoring her pulse. It races beneath my soft touch. “You don’t belong with these people. You don’t fit in with them. You and I really are a lot alike. We like adventure, justice, and a challenge. So I’m challenging you, Miss Aston. Get to know me tonight and think about what I can offer you.”
“I know you well enough to understand we are not the same. Those things are not what I want. And I only accepted this to learn more about Nick Tate. And it’s not because I have some girlhood fantasy of marrying him, either. It’s because we were close and then he disappeared. Anyone who lost a good friend would want to know what happened to them.”
I press myself closer to her body, my chest coming into contact with her breasts. She gulps in air and holds it when I slide my free hand behind her neck the way I did earlier. She almost came undone with that move and it has near the same effect this time around as well. “You might think you’re safe enough on your own, and I might agree. But allow yourself the luxury of my protection for just one night. Let the guard down, Sasha. Let me bring you under my own armor and just try out what it means to simply exist without the stress and worry of who you were. Allow yourself to be who you are. And then at the end of the night I’ll ask you one question before I change your life forever or walk away.”
The breath she drew up finally comes back out in a rush. “What question?”
“Who do you want to be?”
She stares up at me like a child, filled with amazement. Like the thought she could make this decision and not have it made for her is a novelty that is almost too good to be true.
“I already know the answer to that question.” Her sentence starts strong but finishes weak. She knows she’s at a crossroads.
“Good,” I say back. “Then you’ll know just what to say when it comes up.”
“Don’t kiss me again.”
“Done.”
“And the next time you grab my wrists I will break a whole lot more than your fingers.”
“Got it,” I say, smiling. “Anything else?”
“I’m not afraid of you.”
“I know.” My surrender both surprises her and makes her suspicious at the same time. She’s very good at reading me. “You have nothing to fear from me. But Sasha, there are still so very many, many things in this world to be afraid of. So”—I back up and give her all the space she needs as I open the front door and invite her through—”you’re under my protection until you tell me