mouth came against his and their breathing quickened. Clothes dropped to the floor and their bodies began to move together as one.
She drove all thoughts of the future from his mind. He reveled in the warmth between them. Shasti responded as if they were created only for each other. It surprised him. The times before were exciting, but not like this. Perhaps, he thought, it’s the nearness of danger. He didn’t care. He’d gone so long without anyone’s touch.
They made love several times over the next few hours. At first tenderly, then a frantic mood seemed to take Shasti. She growled, even biting a little. Her legs clasped him with their full strength as if she wanted to pull him into her forever. The next time she was more careful, as if to display her skill, her almost perfect muscular control.
She wanted to start for a fourth. He smiled at her, “I’m not eighteen, you know.”
“No,” she replied, nuzzling him. “Not very breakable either.”
“Good thing,” he said fighting a yawn. “Or you’d have broken something on me the second time.”
“That a complaint?” she asked idly.
He smiled. “God, no. But I could use something to drink.”
Shasti slid off him, heading for the small refrigerator in her cabin. Just watching her walk is an experience, he thought. For the first time, he noticed the room. It had changed from its formerly Spartan look to something surprisingly feminine. A katana and wakizashi sat in their traditional holders by one wall, but draperies and indirect lighting softened the room.
At that point he noticed an easel and, curious, slipped out of bed for a closer look. He saw a forested, wintry landscape. In the middle of it padded a wolf, threading his way through the trees. The animal seemed to watch him wherever he moved. Brushes below the unfinished piece made it unquestionably hers. The style matched that of the two other landscapes on the walls.
She came up behind him, stretching an arm over his shoulder with a Bellerian fruit drink. “They aren’t very good,” she said.
“Not true,” he protested. “They are. I can almost feel his fur.”
“I’ve tried to learn,” she said. “I take lessons when we are not on board, and there are disks for the voyages. I realized one morning that all my training—all my life—was about killing. I wanted something else, something of my own. I want to be more than a bio-weapon.”
He looked up over his shoulder at her but could think of little to say.
She moved past him and picked up a brush, seeming to study it. “I have a question for you.”
“Ask away.”
“I wanted to resolve our discipline problems by eliminating Greywold. It’s a sensible move. Eliminate a malcontent, quell further dissent. I didn’t understand your reaction. I know you were upset. Why?”
Fenaday sipped his drink before replying. “I’m not judging you, Shasti. You've never told me much about your past, but I see who you are and what you do. It tells me about a hard life. Who am I to judge anyone anyway? I used to be a spoiled rich kid. I didn’t learn about want until... well you know about that.
“Despite everything that I’ve survived in the last few years, I’m not really tough enough for this job. I just can’t have a man killed in cold blood. This isn’t the sort of thing I learned growing up. I studied how to run ships, balance trade ledgers, make a profit for the line. Murder’s not in me. Maybe it should be. In a lot of ways, you're more fit to command Sidhe than I am. I guess it’s not the sort of thing I could do and look in the mirror each morning.”
“I still don’t understand,” she said. Sadness underlay her words. “I’m almost an artificial life form, Robert. I sometimes wonder how much of what makes a real human has been left out of me.”
He smiled. “Being ordinary isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I’m plenty ordinary. Sometimes I think it might be great to be one of the men from your planet. Wouldn’t you prefer a partner more in your scale?” He stopped. Her face had gone rigid.
“No,” she said in a harsh whisper.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“No” she repeated much more softly. “No pasts here tonight. Not yours and, assuredly, not mine.”
He finished his drink quietly.
“I feel I could sleep for a few hours now,” he said trying for lightness.
“Good,” she replied, also trying to close the awkwardness of