This Is War, Baby - K Webster Page 0,70

desire to learn more. I should feel irritated that yet another person wants inside of my black brain.

But with Baylee?

I want her there.

“Have you been down to the ocean yet?” Dad asks as he stands and carries his plate to the sink.

She shakes her head. “It’s the middle of winter. The water’s probably cold…” she trails off, her sadness not letting her finish the argument.

He turns to me but speaks to her. “Nonsense. It’s almost seventy degrees today. Sure, the water’ll be a little chilly but you’d do well to get some sunshine. If it’s okay with you,” he says and his eyes meet mine, “I’d like to take her for a walk along the beach.”

“Dad, I don’t know if—”

“Really? I would love that. May I, War?” Her pretty blue eyes glitter with an excitement I’ve yet to witness. She’s beautiful. And so deserving. How could I ever tell her no?

But the sand.

The salt from the water.

The wind blowing debris all around her, into her mouth and hair.

“Uh,” I start and pinch the bridge of my nose.

She could bathe after.

Imagine how cute her nose would be with a little pink on the tip from the sun.

And she’d smell like memories that aren’t tainted.

“Of course, Bay. I’ll clean up while you two enjoy yourselves. But I can’t promise I won’t go fucking nuts if you track sand into my house. In fact, I’ll have a broom waiting for you on the front porch. Make sure you hose off, too.”

Her delighted squeal as she rises from her chair makes it all worth it and I find myself grinning.

I CAN’T BELIEVE he let me out of the house, especially after my running away attempt. I’m nervous, fearing that Gabe could be lurking anywhere, but with Land within reach, I’m comforted. He makes me feel safe, like my dad always did.

“My son’s a good man, you know.”

Our feet squeak in the white sand as we trudge toward the crashing waves. I’d changed into a summer dress that billows in the wind and I realize this is the freest I’ve felt in weeks. I owe Land for that.

“Yeah,” I say, probably not as convincing as he likes.

“There’s a reason for the way he is, Baylee. And he’s been,” he chokes out, “so lonely for so long.”

Tears well in my eyes. Despite having been stolen by Gabe and then sold to War, things feel different here. War doesn’t hurt me. The only times my feelings get hurt are when I want him to touch me and he won’t.

Well, he can’t.

His mind won’t allow him to.

But I don’t miss the unmasked desire. Desire that ignites a flame inside of me. Shame courses over me as I consider what Mom and Dad would think about my sexual infatuation with a man I was sold to. What they would think of how I crave to make normal love with him.

And Brandon?

The boy I loved with my whole heart?

He’s becoming more of a distant memory rather than a reality of someone I’ll ever be with.

“It’s pretty here,” I say with a sigh, hoping to change the subject. Trotting off ahead of him, I grab the hem of my dress and run into the sudsy surf. The water is like ice but I welcome the way it envelops my ankles. Feeling braver, I wade out to my knees.

“Shit,” Land curses, “that’s cold!”

I laugh and turn to see him tip toeing toward me. “Big baby,” I tease.

His chuckle warms me and he wraps an arm around me. Land is affectionate and it slices my heart thinking about how he’ll never have that with his son again. I lean into his hug and let him hold me for a while.

“He had a girlfriend once,” he says slowly, almost wistfully. “Of course, I didn’t care too much for her. Lilah was rough around the edges. I suppose it wasn’t her fault. Her dad was a damn idiot, but still. It grated on my nerves that they were together. Warren had potential. He was extremely smart and technical. But around her, he sort of walked around with hearts in his eyes.”

I try to imagine a younger War. A War who was in love with a girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

“At the time, I’d been selfish. Tried to subtly push him in other directions—directions that she could be no part of. My Paula was not impressed with my actions. She’d reminded me of a time we’d been young, dumb, and in love.”

“She sounds