Wanted by Her Lost Love - By Maya Banks Page 0,53

months before. But he hadn’t listened then. He’d been convinced she was lying.

He pulled up a chair so he could sit as close to her as possible while she slept. Tentatively, he slid his fingers underneath the hand that didn’t have an IV attached and he brought it to his lips, holding it against his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Kell,” he said brokenly. “I’m so damn sorry.”

“Ryan. Ryan, man, wake up.”

The whisper stirred Ryan and he opened his eyes and groaned at the monster crick in his neck. Daylight streamed through the blinds on the window and he winced.

His gaze first found Kelly, who was still sleeping, her cheek resting on the mound of pillows. Her bed was elevated slightly so she wasn’t lying flat and some time recently her IV bag had been replaced because it was now full.

Then he turned, his hand going to rub the kinks in his neck. Devon was standing next to the chair Ryan had slept in, his eyes dark with concern.

“What the hell happened?” Devon said in a low voice.

Carefully, Ryan stood, not wanting to risk waking Kelly up. He motioned for Dev to follow him outside the hospital room. When they walked out, Ryan saw Cam shove off the wall, his eyebrow arched in question.

“What are you two doing here?” Ryan asked with a frown.

“Last night was tense,” Devon said. “We tried to call you but couldn’t get you so we went by your apartment. Your doorman told us that Kelly had been taken to the hospital by ambulance so we came over to see if she’s okay.”

Ryan closed his eyes as his throat knotted all over again.

“Whoa, man, you need to sit down,” Cam said. “Have you eaten?”

Ryan shook his head.

“Want to tell us about it?” Dev prompted.

Ryan stared at his two friends and emitted a harsh laugh. “How do you explain that you’ve made the worst mistake of your entire life and you’re not sure you can ever make amends?”

“That bad, huh,” Cam said.

“Worse.”

“Is Kelly going to be all right?” Dev asked. “And the baby?”

“I wish I knew. They might have to deliver the baby early if her blood pressure doesn’t go down. I did this to her. She’s lying in a hospital bed because I wasn’t there for her or my child. What kind of a bastard does that make me?”

Cam and Devon exchanged glances.

“Look, granted I don’t know the whole story, but I’d say that you aren’t solely to blame for the problem,” Devon said carefully. “My brother assaulted her,” Ryan said as rage flooded him all over again. “He tried to rape her and when she fought him off, he called me with an ingenious story. He claimed they slept together but when he told her it was a mistake, she threatened to tell me he tried to rape her so I wouldn’t break up with her for cheating on me. So of course not half an hour later when she shows up at my office telling me exactly what my brother said she would, I didn’t believe her. Because I couldn’t imagine my brother, the brother I all but raised, doing something so despicable. And when she begged me, when she got on her knees and pleaded with me to believe her, I wrote her a check and told her to get the hell out of my life.”

Devon and Cam both looked at him stunned, speechless.

“How am I ever supposed to get past something like that,” Ryan snarled. “Tell me how she’s supposed to get past that. Do you know that just last night before dinner I magnanimously told her that I forgave her? That I wanted us to forget the past and move forward and that I forgave her for cheating on me.”

He broke off and laughed a dry, harsh laugh.

“Yeah, from the start I’ve been all about being the bigger person and wanting to start over when all along I treated her so unforgivably. She came to me for help, for protection, because I was the one person she counted on, and I turned my back on her.”

Ryan turned away as his composure slipped. Tears burned his eyes. Angry, furious tears. He wanted to ram his fist into the wall. He wanted to roar with rage.

His friends flanked him, each slipping a hand over his shoulder.

“I don’t know what to say,” Devon said quietly. “I know you love her.”

“Yeah, I did, do, always have. I loved her and yet I did this to her. How is