Wanted by Her Lost Love - By Maya Banks Page 0,36
but somehow they had to find their way back. He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently.
She was his. She carried his child. To him, that made things simple. She belonged with him. She needed him to take care of her. He wanted to take care of her.
If he was willing to forget the past, then shouldn’t she be willing to try their relationship again? It wasn’t as if he’d betrayed her.
But she carried so much hurt and anger. Something inside her had been broken. Had he done it when he’d tossed her out of his apartment? What had she expected?
He stroked her hair and willed himself not to become embroiled in the past. He’d promised himself—and her—that he’d put everything behind him.
And if he was willing to do that, then he saw no reason she shouldn’t be willing to let the past rest as well.
“How about breakfast in bed?” he asked.
“Mmm, that sounds nice. I don’t think I can move and I’m suddenly feeling lazy.”
He smiled because he couldn’t imagine anything better than the two of them sharing an intimate meal in bed. Hell, if he had his way they wouldn’t leave the bedroom for the rest of the day.
“Let me go order room service. You stay here and get comfortable. I’ll be right back.”
He kissed her nose and then carefully disentangled himself from the warm clasp of her body. He eased her onto her side, pulled the rumpled sheet over her and rolled toward the nightstand, sitting up and putting his legs over the edge of the bed.
He glanced back to see that she’d immediately commandeered his pillow, which made him chuckle, because it was exactly what she’d done in the past.
He picked up the phone, ordered breakfast for them both and then rolled back over to face her.
“You can’t have your pillow back,” she mumbled.
He smiled and propped his head in his palm. “Never let it be said I interfered with the comfort of my woman.”
One eyebrow went up and she studied him for a long moment. He could see her mind swirling with something and so he simply waited to see if she’d say what was on her mind.
“Am I?” she finally asked.
His brow furrowed. “Are you what?”
“Yours,” she said simply. “I need to know what this was, Ryan. Are we back together? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here and I’m not about to assume anything.”
He took a deep breath because it was important to handle this just right. The last thing he wanted to do was screw everything up when he felt as if he was this close to having her where he wanted her.
“I think that’s up to you,” he said carefully. “I think I’ve been up front about what I want, about where I’d like to see our relationship. It’s time for you to decide if this is where you want to be. With me. I’m not saying we have to take a huge leap, but we can at least decide to be together so we can work things out.”
She visibly swallowed and he could see fear in her gaze again. It ate at his gut because he honestly didn’t know what scared her so bad. Was he such an ogre? Could she really blame him or hold against him the reaction he’d had to her being unfaithful?
“My mind tells me I’m an idiot for even considering this,” she muttered.
“What does your heart tell you?” he asked softly.
She sighed and stared helplessly back at him, her blue eyes churning with emotion.
“My heart tells me that I want this. No matter how much I think I shouldn’t want it, I do. Maybe this is a bad time to have a discussion about our relationship when our minds are mush after sex.”
He touched his finger to her lips. “I think it’s the perfect time to have it because our guards are down. It’s just us. No barriers. No walls. Just us and how we feel.”
“How do you feel, Ryan? Do you really want this?”
“Yeah, I do, Kell. I want it so damn much that the thought of you walking away has my gut in knots.”
Her eyes widened. “But I never walked away from you.”
He blew out his breath. “Let’s not talk about that, okay? Whatever happened in the past, the point is, I don’t want you to walk away now. I can’t stand the thought of it.”
“Okay,” she said so quietly he almost didn’t hear.
He reached out and nudged her chin up.