bar business as our personal Cheers when we were supposed to be acting like the businessmen we are and helping him make it profitable?” I took a drink. “I’ll take half the blame and the guilt.”
Ash ran his hand through his blond hair. “Wow, you’re really getting the hang of that.”
“The hang of what?”
“Of breaking something down to its basest level to root out the problem.”
I stared at him. “Jesus, Ash. Is that a compliment? Or an insult?”
“Both. Since I’m on the receiving end of both from you.”
“What? Right now? You’re not making any sense.”
“Never mind.”
Leaning in, I said, “Fuck that. I’m here. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
After a moment, he said, “It’s embarrassing.”
I didn’t cajole him; I merely waited.
“Fine. I’m jealous.”
“Of?”
“Of you and Jax spending more time together now that he lives here. Brady, Walker and Jens . . . you and me. We’ve hung out as a group our entire lives. For a while Brady and I were tight. Same with you and Walker. The three of them as brothers—no need to explain that. As the only girls, Annika and Dallas are more like sisters. Jax was an island of his own in Chicago. Which left you and me. Then when our cousins stared pairing off, we ended up hanging out more often. Which was cool, because we always got along. So like I said, now that your brother is back, it’s just me by myself, and it sucks.” He made rings on his bar napkin with the bottom of his glass. “I miss us doing shit together, cuz.”
Not what I’d expected. Since he’d bared all, I could too. “I won’t lie, it’s been great having Jax back in the Cities. Sober, he’s not a bad guy.”
Ash snickered.
“But the brotherly camaraderie I’d started to establish with him faded awful damn quick when he and Lucy decided to give it another go. Don’t get me wrong; I couldn’t be happier for them. But at the same time, I’m aware that if I don’t make the effort with Jax, he won’t. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care. Oh, he’d realize after a couple of weeks that he hasn’t really talked to me, then he’ll try and make up for it.” I paused. “Kinda like I’m doing now with you.”
“Nolan. Just—”
“Let me finish. After Jax took us to task for our lax handling of his bar, we avoided hanging out together for a while out of guilt. For me, it seemed that translated into a tense work situation between you and me at LI, especially after being named future CEO. You treated me differently, so did Brady. I’ve been careful to stay in my own lane since then. That’s not an excuse, Ash, it’s the truth. I hadn’t figured out a way to bring it up, so I just—”
“Decided working seventy-plus hours a week would prove your company loyalty?” Ash interjected.
“You know about that.”
“Christ, Nolan, I am the COO, it’s my job to make sure all the individual operations are running smoothly as part of the whole.”
My neck flushed crimson and I reached for my beer. After a big gulp, I said, “So is this where you tell me to cut back on my hours? That you trust me not to make another huge financial mistake?”
He shook his head. “You need to be able to trust yourself. If that means you put in a shit ton of hours learning and discarding methods to earn that self-confidence, so be it. I’ve been there. So has Brady. It won’t last forever, but man, when you’re in the thick of it, it might seem like an eternity.” He blew out a breath. “I thought we agreed not to talk about work?”
I shrugged. “We’re in a family business. But on the personal front, I’ll just say I’m glad you had the balls to bring this up and I’m sorry I’ve blown you off. I’ll do better.” I held my mug up and we toasted on it.
The food arrived. We jumped on it like hyenas so there wasn’t much conversation.
After the plates were cleared, we both switched to soda.
Ash sighed. “When’d we get so old that we stop at one pitcher of beer?”
“Sad, ain’t it.”
“Next we’ll be popping Viagra.”
“I wish Dallas was here to demand you counteract that suggestion you just sent into the stratosphere, lest the universe believes it’s a wish we want to come true,” I teased.
Ash looked at the ceiling. “I retract that popping Viagra joke, universe.”