Want You Back - River Laurent Page 0,26

was never herself.” I refrained from telling Alex that she usually woke up high and continued that way for the rest of the day.

“How do you feel?” he asked, staring at me curiously.

I contemplated his question. “Still shocked but excited and curious. I wonder if she looks like me and whether she likes the same things I do.”

It was possible that we’d been sired by the same man. I wonder if she knew anything about our father.

“I wonder why your mother gave her up for adoption and kept you?” he asked. “That’s got to be hard to deal with, for her.”

I hadn’t thought about that. While it was true that I’d had a pretty shitty childhood, at least I never had to wrestle with questions of identity. I knew exactly who I was.

I was the child of a drug addict. My heart went out to Helen. It was a harsh reality to know that your mother gave you up for adoption but chose to keep your sister.

Anxiety settled in my stomach.

“Do you want me to go with you tomorrow?” he asked.

I shook my head. I needed to meet Helen on my own “Thanks, but I think I’d better meet her alone first.”

Charlotte

I arrived at the park fifteen minutes earlier, wanting some time to compose myself. I chose a bench that gave me a view of everyone entering the park. I fidgeted every few seconds, unable to sit still. Several people strolled into the park but none could have been Helen.

A mother holding two children’s hands, which made me wonder whether Helen had kids. A young couple with only eyes for each other. An older woman holding a walking stick out to enjoy the summer day.

And then I saw her stroll in. There was no mistaking Helen. I could have been looking at myself. She was a brunette, like me, and wore a similar style to what I usually wore. Pants and a blouse though her clothes and shoes looked expensive.

She also had more jewelry than I usually wore. As she got closer to me, I stood up on shaky feet.

“Charlotte,” she said in mom’s voice.

I’d been ten years old when she died but I still remember her distinct voice. Helen and I fell into each other’s arms in a hug that came naturally. I couldn’t believe that I was twenty-three years old and hugging my sister for the first time.

“I prayed for a sister all the years I was growing up,” I told her. Tears spilled from my eyes and I saw that she was also crying.

“Me too,” Helen said. “Let’s sit down. There’s so much I want to know about you and our mother.”

We sat on the bench side by side and held hands.

“We look so alike,” I said. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-four,” Helen said and we did some calculations.

It turned out that our mother had given her up for adoption when Helen was three months old and mom was about six weeks pregnant.

“Why do you think she did it?” Helen asked, her voice catching.

“Probably because she couldn’t cope with two kids. She couldn’t cope with one kid either. Tell me about the people who adopted you. Were they kind?”

Her features softened and she smiled. “My parents are wonderful people. I was an only child and sometimes I think they might have spoilt me a little.”

“Really, how?” I asked greedy for information on a normal childhood.

“Well, I was the only one amongst my friends who got a birthday party every year and a visit to Disneyland since I was six years old,” she said in a laughing tone. “They’d tried to have a baby for many years before settling on adoption.”

Feelings of envy came over me. I’d worried that Helen would have issues on being the one who had been given away. Instead I found myself envious of the obvious good life she had lived.

“I wish I’d been the one she had given away for adoption, “I blurted out.

She placed a comforting hand on my knee. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to share in the burden. It must have been hell having a drug addict as a mother. But look how well you turned out?”

I burst into tears. I covered my face as sobs wracked my body. She draped her hand over my shoulders and inched closer. I lost track of time and didn’t know how long I sat there crying.

“I know I’ll be doing that tonight,” Helen said as I mopped my face with a handkerchief that she