her before she began to cry. This was how it had been in the months and years after Joel died, still was. It came in waves. Sometimes, life seemed to go on as normal, which felt quite extraordinary, really, considering her son was no longer there. But she had had two other kids to look after, and then a newborn too. Other times, it would hit her like a sledgehammer.
But Patrick wasn’t Joel, was he? He would live. He had to live. And she needed to bloody pull herself together. She wiped her tears away and grabbed one of Rosemary’s old tops, replacing her dirty one with it.
Then she walked back downstairs.
Grace was waiting for her in the hallway, her jacket already on. ‘Where are the twins?’ Melissa asked her.
‘In the summer house with Maddy.’
Melissa rolled her eyes. ‘I’ll go get them.’
She marched out into the garden, then paused. If the twins would tell anyone about what had happened the night before, it would be Maddy. Maybe they were talking about it right that minute? She checked Rosemary wasn’t watching her, then quietly approached the summer house from the back, hoping to overhear them. She imagined what Patrick would say. He’d probably shake his head, joke that she was a hypocrite. She had, after all, told him off only a few weeks ago for suggesting they read Lewis’s phone messages after Patrick mistakenly thought Lewis was doing drugs. Turned out the white powder he found in Lewis’s school bag was some translucent face powder Maddy had asked him to give Lilly for an audition the next day.
Patrick did that a lot, getting hold of the wrong end of the stick, like the time several years ago when he told everyone Barack Obama was having a beer in the Neck of the Woods pub during his state visit to the UK. When people rushed down, it wasn’t Obama at all.
Melissa smiled when she thought of that now, yearning to see her husband. First, though, she wanted to see if she could overhear anything.
Luckily, the summer house backed on to the forest, which meant it was easy to reach from beyond the trees without being noticed. It was also easy to hear whatever people were saying inside, as Melissa and Patrick had discovered to their horror after hearing his parents having a bit too much of a ‘good time’ in there once while walking Sandy in the forest. The look on Patrick’s face when he realised what the grunting noise was! It still made Melissa smile to think of it.
The smile disappeared from her face. Would she ever be able to walk through the forest with Patrick again? Giggle with him, and watch his tanned cheeks turn red with embarrassment?
Melissa crept close to the back of the summer house. It was large, ten square metres, and painted a calming olive green. There was even a small veranda at the front, and inside it was adorned with two large wicker sofas, a fridge full of soft drinks and a large TV on the wall, with speakers on a shelf. Bill, Patrick and Lewis had put it up five years before. Melissa remembered sitting in the sun with Rosemary and the girls, watching with pride as a ten-year-old Lewis hammered nails into wood, Patrick patiently instructing him on how to get it perfect as Bill nodded in approval.
Melissa pressed her ear against the wall.
‘You mean the New Year’s Eve party?’ she heard Maddy ask.
‘Yeah,’ Lilly said.
‘What did Carter say about your mum?’ Maddy asked.
‘Don’t worry,’ Lewis replied. ‘Lilly shouldn’t have said anything.’
‘But—’
‘Just drop it, Mads,’ Lewis said.
Melissa frowned. Carter was Andrea and Adrian Cooper’s son. He was in the same year as the twins and Maddy. Lewis had never liked him, calling him an arrogant twat. As for New Year’s Eve, there had been a party at the forest centre. Melissa recalled that Carter had got a bit drunk. Andrea had been mortified. Come to think of it, Patrick had seemed a bit subdued after the party. Melissa put it down to him being tired with all the hard work he’d put into the upcoming election.
‘All I remember about that party is you guys playing happy families all night,’ Maddy said.
Lewis gave a bitter laugh. ‘Happy families. Yeah, right.’
‘Mum?’ Melissa jumped, turning to see Grace watching her from the side of the summer house. ‘What are you doing?’
They all went quiet in the summer house, clearly having heard Grace.