The Waffle House on the Pier - Tilly Tennant Page 0,96

already in too deep. And then you go and tell me about this other guy that you never really got over and—’

‘Don’t you think we’re at a good place? I don’t want to be with Declan now; maybe I didn’t explain it very well. He means a lot to me – I can’t deny that – but I don’t want to be with him. Right now, I want to be with you. Is that enough? Can you live with that for now?’

‘I don’t know.’

She paused. ‘Do you want me to go?’

‘No – no I don’t. I want you here and that’s what scares me. I don’t know if I can deal with you and this other guy being so close. I’ve been hurt once and I don’t think I can take it again. But I want you here so badly right now that I can’t think straight.’

‘Then don’t think at all. Just be here now with me and we’ll take it a minute at a time.’

‘I need to be able to trust that you won’t hurt me like Christa did.’

‘I’m not going to hurt you.’

‘I don’t believe for a minute that Christa meant to hurt me; it just happened. You might not mean it either but you might still do it.’

‘You have to trust someone eventually. Or are you planning to spend the rest of your life alone just in case?’

‘I’d hate that, of course I would. But it’s so hard to do otherwise. I can have fun with you and I can enjoy your company, but to let you into my heart that way, knowing what I know about you and Declan—’

Sadie put a finger to his lips.

‘Please don’t. I wouldn’t be here if I planned to mess you around like that.’

‘That’s just it – nobody plans it. I can’t have that waiting in my future again, planned or not.’

‘You’re right – nobody does plan these things, and perhaps it’s a good thing that we don’t see what’s at the finishing line; maybe it’s better just to make the most of the journey. I sometimes think that’s where I’ve always gone wrong. I’ve always been racing towards something, so fast that I’ve missed what was under my nose – and often those things have been more important and valuable than what I was running towards. If nothing else, the last few weeks have shown me that life has a way of tripping you up, but the successes might just be in the way you get up and dust yourself down.’

‘Hmm.’

‘You have absolutely no idea what any of that just meant, do you?’

‘Not really.’

Sadie giggled and leaned in to kiss him. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve had enough talking for now anyway.’

He broke off and held her gaze for a moment, his expression intense, searching, even a little scared, as if he was standing on a cliff edge and pondering the wisdom of diving into the sea below.

‘But I do worry about it. I can’t go on with this if I can’t be sure I won’t get hurt again. Christa and Jacob… I never thought I’d get over their betrayal and I can’t go through something like that again – it would break me.’

‘I promise I would never do that to you.’

‘But how can I know that for sure?’

Sadie was silent for a moment. ‘I don’t know,’ she said finally. ‘I don’t suppose there is any way I can prove it to you. Maybe you’ll just have to take a leap of faith.’

‘That’s easy for you to say.’

‘Not as easy as you might think.’

He ran a hand down the length of her hair, his eyes locked onto hers, and she saw his uncertainty, the battle with his own doubts. He wanted to believe her, to believe in her – she could see that. And she could see how much he wanted her. She wanted him too, and she wanted to be able to show him how much, but she couldn’t do anything to settle his doubts or undo the events in his past that would perhaps always make him doubt. But then his expression cleared and, for now at least, his desire to be with her seemed to have melted the doubts away.

‘Am I going to regret this?’ he asked as his hand trailed down to her back to pull her closer.

‘No,’ she said, kissing him again. ‘Neither of us is.’

Chapter Seventeen

Sadie might have been in a rebellious mood by the time she was walking back after spending the afternoon