The Vow - Debbie Howells Page 0,68
a deep breath. ‘There’s something I should tell you about.’ Seeing both of them looking at me intently, I go on, as they start the tape. ‘I should have mentioned it before, but Matt didn’t always treat me well.’ My voice shakes slightly. ‘I wasn’t intentionally hiding anything, it’s more that it didn’t seem relevant. I suppose I wanted so badly to believe everything was OK between us. I didn’t want to admit that anything was wrong. Once you do, even to yourself, you have to do something about it. And I didn’t feel strong enough to face that.’
PC Page frowns at me. ‘When you’ve gone to such pains to say what a great relationship you had, even with evidence to the contrary, it’s quite a surprise to hear you admit it was anything but.’
Resigned, I shake my head. ‘It was a good relationship – at the start. But more recently, Matt would hurt me. When I first spoke to you, I was worried that if he found out what I’d been saying about him, he’d hurt me again.’
DI Lacey interrupts. ‘Ms Reid, from what we’ve learned about Mr Roche, his behaviour can only be described as intimidating and bullying. It’s hardly what most people would call a great relationship. So what happened on that day you were going to tell us about?’
‘He came home early from work and went upstairs. I heard him opening and closing drawers.’ My voice shakes. ‘When I went up to see what he was doing, there was a suitcase he didn’t want me to see. But they weren’t his clothes he was packing.’ Remembering, I shake my head. ‘They were mine.’
PC Page stares at me. ‘Why on earth would he have been packing your clothes?’
Forcing myself to focus on the table, I try to keep my voice steady as I go on. ‘He said he’d arranged for me to go and stay somewhere. Just for a while. Apparently, he was worried about me …’ I break off. ‘Matt was always so considerate. He’d thought of everything, you know.’ My words are laden with sarcasm. ‘He’d even timed it to perfection so that Jess would never know. He told me I had problems, so he was doing what he could to help me.’
‘Ms Reid, I’m not sure what you’re saying.’ DI Lacey’s voice cuts into the silence. ‘Had you seen a doctor?’
I shake my head. ‘He said I didn’t need to. He’d found somewhere for me to go. He was paying for it. Somewhere I could rest and get help.’
‘Did you go?’ The DI frowns.
‘Yes.’ I pause. He hadn’t given me a choice. ‘He said that if I didn’t, it proved I wasn’t as invested in our relationship as he was.’ It had been a small private hospital that had felt like a prison. ‘He said my problems were the reason things weren’t right between us. Apparently I didn’t think straight, especially when it came to my house. He kept trying to push me to sell it – he said it didn’t make sense that I wouldn’t. But he didn’t understand.’
‘What didn’t he understand, Amy?’ PC Page’s voice is low.
‘I can’t leave that house.’ I look at them both.
‘You’ve said this once before. Why can’t you?’ PC Page’s face seems to loom towards me.
‘It’s the only thing I have. And my business relies on it. It’s just as well I didn’t sell, now that he isn’t here.’ Suddenly I’m lightheaded. Then as the room starts to spin, I grip the edge of the table, trying to focus.
‘Have some water.’ A hand pushes a glass into one of mine. As I drink, my vision starts to clear. ‘I’m sorry. This happens sometimes. One of the many things Matt thought I needed help with.’ It’s another lie, but a plausible one. I’m risking giving them a motive, but I need them to know how erratic Matt would be. I’m trying my hardest to sound in control. But I’m wishing they’d stop asking questions, because yet again, I haven’t told the police everything.
*
It’s only when I’m alone in my cell that I allow my mind to confront what followed.
‘Why are you packing, Matt?’
He looked coldly at me. ‘You’re going to stay somewhere for a while. They can look after you. I can’t do it any more. I’ve spoken to the staff and told them about your behaviour. You refuse to see a doctor, you refuse to talk to a shrink. It’s irrational.’ Breaking off, he punched the wall.