The Vow - Debbie Howells Page 0,22

As my voice breaks, I’m aware of tears pouring down my face.

‘You had no idea?’ She sounds shocked. ‘Are the police sure about this other woman?’

‘That’s the thing.’ As I look at her, Sonia’s face is blurred, my words sticking in my throat. ‘For some reason, they believe her over me. They won’t even tell me who she is. And it was me he was going to marry.’

‘Oh Amy …’ Her voice is full of sympathy. ‘You must be reeling with so many emotions – shock, grief, sadness …’ She pauses for a moment. ‘But right now, whatever else is going on, whatever he has or hasn’t done, your first priority is to look after you.’

Hunched, I shake my head. ‘I should have known. Aren’t women supposed to have a sixth sense about these things? I feel so stupid, Sonia. I hadn’t a clue.’

She looks outraged. ‘It isn’t you who’s stupid. Of course you’re hurting. And however badly he’s behaved, you’re grieving. You’ve not only lost him, you’ve lost the future you were planning.’ She pauses. ‘It must be triggering old memories of when Dominic left, too. Do you have any idea where your fiancé might be?’

‘I don’t.’ My words echo in the silence. ‘No-one does. The police are investigating. Our wedding was supposed to be next week. My dress is upstairs. We’d even written our own vows.’ There’s desperation in my voice. ‘All that planning … and now I have to cancel it.’ As I say the words out loud, my body starts to shake.

Sonia’s silent for a moment. ‘Have you had anything to eat?’

I shake my head. ‘I’m not hungry.’

She speaks gently. ‘Why don’t I make us a pot of tea?’

I think about explaining how I’d rather be on my own, then because her voice is kind and I feel so desperately alone, more tears stream down my face. Embarrassed, I try to wipe them away, apologising. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You really have nothing to be sorry about.’ As her hand touches my arm, I know she understands.

*

Sitting at the kitchen table, I watch while she makes two mugs of tea, then puts together a sandwich I have no appetite for, before she sits down across the table from me.

‘You’re dealing with a lot, Amy. And right now, you’re feeling the added shock of finding out that Matt has not only lied, he’s betrayed you.’

‘That’s the worst of it.’ I stare at my mug. ‘I don’t understand how he could do that to me … And I hate that everyone knows.’

‘It’s possible he hadn’t told you because he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. However it started with this other woman, maybe it got out of control. Obviously, I don’t know him but plenty of men cheat because they can.’ She speaks carefully. ‘I mean, imagine what it does to your ego to know that you have two women in your life. Two women who both want to be with you.’ She pauses for a moment. ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking, but can I ask you about your relationship? Did you honestly believe everything was right between you?’

‘On the whole, we were good.’ My voice is quiet. ‘We seemed to fit together, somehow. Before we met, we’d both been on our own for some time. You reach an age where you don’t expect to meet anyone. It makes you see things differently. There was the occasional argument … but they were rare. And …’ I hesitate. ‘I know sometimes I did things that annoyed him. But before we were together, I suppose I’d got set in my ways. Jess and I had lived on our own for years.’

Sonia frowns slightly. ‘Did you disagree about anything in particular?’

For reasons I can’t explain, I don’t want to tell her the truth – that he could be intolerant of Jess sometimes, that when I intervened he didn’t like it. He would often remind me that it wasn’t easy being the newcomer when Jess and I were so close.

I shake my head at Sonia.

‘The biggest thing was the house. When we were first together, he wanted to sell it and move to Brighton. I didn’t want to. The garden is the basis of my work. It takes years to establish herbs.’ I turn my gaze towards the window. ‘I didn’t want to give it up and start again.’

‘So you came to an agreement?’ Sonia sounds curious.

I sigh. ‘Kind of. I thought he’d grow to like living here. He gave up trying to