The Vow - Debbie Howells Page 0,100

but unsure what the protocol is, I force myself not to. She hurries towards me, then her arms are around me.

‘Are we allowed to hug?’ My eyes are filled with tears.

‘I don’t care.’ But keeping hold of my hand, she pulls away slightly. ‘Just in case. Sit down, Jess. Tell me how you are.’

‘I’m fine.’ Watching her soak up my presence, hanging on my every word, tears pour down my cheeks. ‘Really I am. I don’t know how long we have. I need you to fill me in about all the stuff I don’t know. I know you didn’t kill Matt. I’m not giving up until I find out who did.’

Her hand touches my cheek. ‘Sweet Jess.’ She’s silent.

‘Mum.’ My voice is urgent, insistent, the loudest whisper I can manage. ‘I’m your only hope. Please. Whatever it is you’re not saying. You have to tell me.’

A shadow crosses her face. ‘Please tell me the police are still searching for Matt?’

‘They have to be.’ Her words shock me. I hadn’t considered they might not be.

When she glances away, I know my hunch was right. There is something she’s been keeping from me. She meets my gaze. ‘I never wanted you to know any of this.’ When she hesitates, I’m filled with trepidation at what she’s about to say. ‘It’s all going to come out at some point. This is about far more than Matt.’ She looks stricken. ‘It goes back to what happened to your aunt. Kimberley.’

Looking at her, I frown. I’d always known that Kimberley had died tragically, at seventeen. But as she proceeds to tell me what really happened that day, and about Allie’s obsession with Kimberley’s boyfriend, Charlie, my jaw drops open. It’s the first I’ve heard of my aunt being poisoned. ‘The police thought Kimberley accidentally got hold of one of our grandmother’s remedies. It was described as a tragic accident. But it wasn’t. Only my grandmother knew what had really happened.’

I stare at her, shocked. ‘But you didn’t do it. Allie did. Surely the police must believe that?’

‘I think they do now.’ She pauses. ‘But I told too many lies, Jess. I was trying to hide the truth about what really happened to Kimberley, terrified that Allie would convince the police it was my fault. The last time I saw her, she swore that one day she’d be the one people would listen to – not me. And she is – she’s a lawyer now. There’s another thing …’ Breaking off again, she’s silent. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I found this out, but it turns out Allie was Matt’s other woman. The woman he was allegedly leaving me for.’

‘No way.’ Shocked, I’m thinking quickly. ‘That’s too weird to be a coincidence. Could she have made it all up?’

‘I don’t know what to think.’ My mother looks defeated. ‘Jess, all I can imagine is that someone’s trying to avenge something from the past. Probably Kimberley’s death – only because I can’t think of anything else. Presumably someone who holds me responsible, so they killed Matt first, before setting me up. I’ve told the police what I’ve told you about Kimberley. I’ve no idea whether they’ve questioned Allie, and if they have, whether they’ve arrested her. For all I know, she could have convinced them of her innocence, so they let her go.’

‘What’s Allie’s full name?’ I’m desperately trying to memorise every word she says, knowing I need to take it away with me.

‘Allie Macklin. Except she changed her name.’ She’s silent for a moment. She’s Fiona Rose now. Fiona was her middle name.’ Then she looks ashamed. ‘I changed mine, too, Jess. My name was Emily Preston. I thought Amy was close enough to Emily that if I slipped up, no-one would notice.’

‘I don’t blame you for changing your name.’ But as it sinks in, I wish she’d told me before. It would have helped me understand so much more, about my mother, her parents, my family. ‘Most people would have done exactly the same.’ I pause, curious. ‘When did you last see her?’

‘Years ago.’ My mother sighs. ‘She came to the house we were living in at the time – in Eastbourne. You were a baby. After Kimberley died, Allie and I lost touch. But that day she came round, she was venomous. She told me how her parents had sent her away, then disowned her, all of which she blames me for. When she came and found me, I was still with your dad.