to land on his chest, shoulders, and belly, gathering together until they started to trail wet paths down his body.
Within a minute of standing under the hot spray, the droplets started to take on a pink tinge. I furrowed my brow, worried I was starting to hallucinate. Then I remembered—the dried blood was finally melting off me.
I lifted my hands to his chest, covering all the red droplets, and looked down. Mesmerizing swirls of red circled the drain, fed by crimson tracks of water traveling down my legs.
Josh reached behind me for a loofah and a bottle of something that smelled like Tyler. He worked some of the bottle’s contents into a lather in his hand, and then with slow, careful movements, he washed me.
He cleaned my neck and shoulders, then reached around to do my back, my ass. My breasts and belly followed. He added more bodywash to do my arms.
I kept my eyes on the drain. The blood mixed with the suds, fluffy pink swirls disappearing into the pipes. For some reason, that made it a bit easier to watch.
Josh moved my hands up from his chest to his shoulders, then slowly kneeled down. He cleaned my legs one by one, lifting one foot, then the other. I’d completely forgotten about the cuts on my feet, which stung as the sudsy water washed over them. Thankfully, Alec had carried me over most of the glass.
When Josh stood up again, I let my hands drop back to his chest. I liked feeling his breaths, the faint thud of his heartbeat. I leaned my forehead on my hands. The water running into the drain was now perfectly clear.
Once again, Josh moved, and then shampoo was in my hair. He lathered it slowly, massaging my scalp and spreading it all the way to the ends.
“Lift your head so I can rinse the shampoo.” He didn’t raise his voice, but the way it bounced off the tiles made it sound louder than it was.
I tipped my head back into the spray. Josh rinsed the shampoo and wiped it away from my eyes.
I lowered my head to look at him and took my first deep breath. My shoulders were relaxing; I was no longer covered in blood. I couldn’t be sure if I was still crying or not as my whole face was wet, but my nose wasn’t blocked, so that was a good sign.
Josh’s vibrant green eyes fixed on me, and as always, I felt as if he could see right into my soul. The water had turned his dirty-blond hair dark, and he licked the moisture off his full lips.
He reached behind me again. Conditioner this time. As he spread it through my hair with care, I trailed my hands over his shoulders to play with the damp hair at his neck. Then I leaned forward and kissed him gently beneath his ear.
It was meant as a thank you—to show I appreciated how attentive he’d been—but as my lips tasted his skin, my body began to crave more.
Maybe it was fucked up that I wanted sex after the horrific shit I’d just been through, but it was never just sex with them. It was healing and comfort and connections and coming home all at once.
After he’d finished working the conditioner into the ends of my hair, he brought his hands back to my hips and swallowed audibly. “Eve?”
He was waiting to figure out what I needed, but his body was already reacting to mine. He was getting hard.
Maybe now wasn’t the time. I looked up at his clever, watchful eyes and thought about getting out of the shower, drying off . . . but then I’d have to deal with the rest of it. I’d be out of this steam-and-tiles cocoon, and I’d have to think about the blood circling the drain, Alec unconscious in the hospital, all the people who’d died. Because of me.
My eyes stung, and a relentless, unbearable tightness squeezed my chest.
I wasn’t ready.
“Just . . . I need . . .” I struggled to articulate my jumbled thoughts between increasingly erratic breaths. “I don’t want to think about the blood . . . I can’t . . . make me forget . . . please, just . . . make me forget, Josh.”
He pulled me against him and kissed me hard, pushing his tongue into my mouth. I threw my hands around his neck and held on, focusing fully on his perfect lips, on my stiffening nipples,