She paused by the garden arch leading into the small courtyard behind the house. Bees buzzed over the trailing roses. “I too, value our friendship.”
“I’m glad.” He took her hand again. “I would hate to lose it.”
“I am sorry I cannot marry you, Hilton, really I am. I wish I could say yes because you would be a genuine husband, a man to be proud of and one any woman would be thankful to have.”
“But you did think about saying yes?”
“Oh, of course.” She squeezed his hand. “I was quite close to saying yes. I promise you that.”
He nodded and managed a weak smile. “Then I can ask for no more.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. There is no need. We cannot rule our hearts, can we?”
“I do not love Mr West.” Her heart hammered in her chest at the mere thought. She wouldn’t surrender to Nathaniel West.
Chuckling, he leaned over to kiss her cheek gently. “Dearest Nicola, you should not deny what is nature.” He turned and swept his arm out to encompass the whole estate. “All this is noble and splendid, but to receive a person’s love, to have some form of…of connection with another, that is what makes us truly human.” He smiled and patted her hand. “Now, I must go. James and Meg are turning the ship upside down in preparation for their marriage. James’s neat cabin has been transformed with clutter, but they are happy and enjoying every second of it.”
Nicola walked with him around the side of the house to the drive and his uncle’s carriage. “Yes, I have hardly seen Meg lately. She is a whirlwind of activity at the moment. Though she was hurt that her family refused to travel to see her wed.”
“It is their loss, for it is easier for them to travel to Sydney from Melbourne, than from Melbourne to America. They might be missing their last chance to see her for a long while.”
“America. Such a long way. I will miss her. The house will be quiet without her.”
“I hope you’ll miss me also?” He grinned, opening the carriage door.
“Absolutely. You’ve been a very good friend.”
“Good, that makes me feel better.” After climbing in, Hilton sat near the window and smiled at her. “I’ll be travelling along the coast until Christmas, so I’ll not see you for a little while.”
“Travel safe then. We’ll meet again at Christmas.” She stepped back as the driver flicked the reins and the carriage lurched forward. Taking a deep breath, she watched the carriage rumble away and prayed to a God she didn’t really believe in that she’d done the right thing in refusing Hilton.
Chapter Fourteen
I’ll miss you,” Meg whispered, hugging Nicola tight. They stood in the captain’s cabin of the Lady Hilton, having returned there after Meg’s wedding just a couple of hours before.
“Not as much as I’ll miss you. You’ll be rather busy, I feel.” She chuckled through her tears.
“Oh yes.” Meg’s grin was full of mischief. “I cannot wait for tonight, and every night!”
“Meg!” Nicola roared with laughter. “You’re impossible.”
“I know!”
Sobering, Nicola sighed, knowing her time was short with this passionate friend of hers. “It was a beautiful wedding. Everything has gone off perfectly.”
“I never expected this, you know.” Meg swung away to open a drawer near the bed. The captain’s quarters now included another room. One of the adjoining cabins had been knocked through so Meg and her new husband could have a place in private to sit and relax.
“Never expected what? To marry a ship’s captain?”
“To marry at all.” Meg grinned. She did a little twirl, causing her light blue dress to flare out at the bottom. “I’m so happy I could burst. Not even my mother and aunt’s failure to attend today can diminish my joy at having James as my husband. He’s a good man.”
“And he loves you.”
“Yes. Aren’t I lucky? I’m not sure I deserve him, but I’ll make him a good wife.”
“I believe you will.”
“Though I wish you had fallen madly in love with Mr Warner, then I wouldn’t be going to America alone.”
“Sometimes I wish I had too.” She glanced around the cabin, seeing Meg’s little touches and then she spotted the framed sketch of the harbour she had drawn as a present to the newlyweds. Nicola realised that she’d already made one long journey and this country was where her future lay. She brightened. “Imagine all the new places you’ll see and the people you’ll meet. I want you to write