A Violet Fire (Vampires in Avignon #1) - Kelsey Quick Page 0,74

what I thought.

“It’s a purging, which is something I think vampires can also understand,” I explain as I turn my head back to the breaking dawn. I feel him watching me as a wisp of my hair glints crimson in front of my eyes. I quickly replace it behind my ear. “I need these moments every now and then… I need to feel unchained.”

The weight of his luminous gaze sends aches across my skin. It bores into every inch, forcing chills down my arms and neck. But these chills are not out of fear…they are of a different, more novel sort.

“I understand,” he finally replies in the gentlest voice I’ve heard yet.

I try to analyze his features, but they are lost in a self-reflection all their own; maybe in a similar sort of purging. Strangely, in this moment it feels as if we are sharing the same headspace, as if we are on the same plane of existence.

What is it that he’s yearning for? I wonder as we both soundlessly look out over the rich, Sabbanthian landscape.

“I will leave you to yourself then,” he says, “However…”

He drags his knuckles along my jaw, down to my neck. Everything within me seizes, releasing heat to the surface of my skin. His fingers glance the edges of my collar bone, trailing beneath the cut of my robes, and hooking lightly around the Laisse at my chest. My lungs constrict as his delicate touch along the curves of my ribs carries with it something far heavier; warmer, even.

He lifts the inscribed emblem of Cain out from beneath my clothes, letting the silvery piece of steel dangle and glisten in the yellowing horizon.

“Use it wisely,” he warns, stepping out from the growing light of morning and into the shadows. As he leaves, I contemplate my state of being: the heat surging across my body. When the wooden door in the far corner eventually closes, I am convinced that I am alone again.

But really, was I ever alone to begin with?

✽✽✽

Today, I run. I run with fervor and passion, with thoughts and feelings that swell within, as if I’m giving birth to a new me. Today, I don’t feel like running away. I just feel like running.

For a long-distance runner like me, the rec area is small. In the past I would limit myself to three kilometers around the circular trails anyway, to recover from the frequent summonings. But lately, I’ve been able to go as far as I want. Zein doesn’t summon me anymore, and ever since that awkward run-in on the second floor, I refuse to go to him. I clutch and readjust the Laisse chain that’s tucked into the neck of my athletic suit.

It has been nearly two months since then, and I’ve kept the secret of the Laisse well enough, not even using it to slack off in the work room. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn’t be a secret—I’m supposed to wear it proudly, after all… but I knew it would only cause me more problems with Anaya and the others. The seraglio detests me enough already, and I hate to admit that it wears me down. Plus, it’s a good deterrent to keep my feelings for Zein in line.

There have been many times that I’ve ached to see him after that night, but I pushed the pettiness aside out of sheer discipline. Going to Zein of my own free will is like becoming successfully brainwashed by Saya—a waste of everything I ever did to try and escape in the past. All my research, all my training, all my pooling hatred and strength—gone. If I go to him of my own accord, I’m choosing to forget everything I ever stood for, and toy with the things I swore to never touch. And the cynical side of me believes he’s trying to make me do that.

But he was so sincere. He looks out for me as well as his other supply units.

I shake my head.

But there was a connection, he understands you.

And as my face grows even hotter from forces other than exercise, I push the thoughts from my mind. Remember. He’s a vampire. A monster. Violent, malicious, and cares only for his own needs.

But, that’s not true.

He saved me from certain death.

He takes in every supply unit he sponsors for their sake.

And… he gave me this chain of freedom, before relieving me of my service.

I growl at myself and resort to focusing on nothing but the trail. My hips rotate atop the