Vinegar Girl (Hogarth Shakespeare) - Anne Tyler Page 0,42

had smacked the steering wheel with the flat of her hand. “ ‘That’s lovely, Adam,’ ” she quoted herself in a high-pitched, mincing voice. “ ‘That means a great deal to me.’ ”

And she balled up her fist and punched her own forehead.

—

Aunt Thelma asked Kate if she were planning to be Kate Cherbakov (pronouncing it as her brother-in-law did). “Definitely not,” Kate said. Even if this marriage had not been temporary, she was opposed to the notion of brides changing their names. And Pyotr, to her relief, chimed in with “No, no, no.” But then he added, “Will be Shcherbakov-ah. Female ending, because she is girl.”

“Woman,” Kate said.

“Because she is woman.”

“I’m sticking with Battista,” Kate told her aunt.

Uncle Theron said, perhaps in context, “I was telling Pyoder in the living room that I like to suggest a little counseling session to couples before I marry them.”

“Oh, what a good idea!” Aunt Thelma exclaimed, as if this were the first she’d heard of it.

“We don’t need counseling,” Kate said.

“Issues like whether you plan to change your last name, though—” Uncle Theron began.

“Do not worry,” Pyotr said hastily. “Is not important. Is only a brand of canned peaches.”

“Excuse me?”

“We’ll settle it between ourselves,” Kate told everyone. “Who wants more chicken?”

The chicken was all right, she supposed, but the pink-peppercorn sauce tasted weird. She was looking forward to raiding her stash of beef jerky as soon as she was alone again.

“I don’t know whether Kate mentioned it,” Aunt Thelma was saying to Pyotr, “but I’m an interior decorator.”

“Ah!”

Kate had the impression that Pyotr didn’t have the slightest inkling what an interior decorator was.

“Will you two be living in a house, or in an apartment?” Aunt Thelma asked him.

“Apartment, I think you would call it,” Pyotr said. “Is inside a house, however. Widow’s house; Mrs. Murphy’s. I have top floor.”

“But after they marry, he’s moving in with us,” Dr. Battista said.

Aunt Thelma frowned. Pyotr frowned too. Bunny said, “With us?”

“No,” Pyotr said, “I have whole top floor of Mrs. Murphy’s house, rent-free because I lift Mrs. Murphy from wheelchair to car and I change her light bulbs. Is only a walk to Dr. Battista’s lab, and every window I look out of, I see trees. This spring there is a bird nest! Living room, kitchen, two bedrooms, bathroom. No dining room, but kitchen has table.”

“It sounds darling,” Aunt Thelma said.

“After the wedding, though, he’ll live here,” Dr. Battista said.

“I am allowed to use whole backyard, big, large, huge, sunny backyard, because Mrs. Murphy cannot go there in wheelchair. I plant cucumbers and radishes. Kate could maybe plant also.” He turned to Kate. “You wish to plant vegetables? Or only flowers.”

“Oh,” she said. “Well, yes, I’d like to plant vegetables. At least, I think I would. I’ve never had a vegetable garden before.”

“But I thought we discussed this,” Dr. Battista said.

“We discussed this and I said no,” Pyotr said.

Aunt Thelma took on a gleeful expression. “Louis,” she said, “face it. Your little girl has grown up.”

“I realize that, but the understanding was that she and Pyoder will live here.”

Bunny said, “No one told me that! I thought they were living at Pyoder’s! I thought I was going to get Kate’s room now. With the window seat?”

“It makes much more sense for them to live here,” her father told her. “We would just rattle around in this big house all by ourselves.”

“Whatever happened to ‘Whither thou goest, I will go’?” Bunny asked.

Uncle Theron cleared his throat. “Actually,” he said, “those words were spoken to a mother-in-law. People never seem to realize that.”

“To a mother-in-law?”

“Is entire top floor of house,” Pyotr was telling Dr. Battista. “Second bedroom is study now, but I am going to change it to bedroom for Kate.”

Aunt Thelma sat up alertly. Her husband grinned and said, “Well, now. I seriously doubt if Kate will require her own bedroom.”

Aunt Thelma waited for Pyotr’s response as intently as a pointer narrowing in on a quail, but Pyotr was too busy staring down Dr. Battista.

It could be like the coed dorm Kate had lived in while she was in college, she thought. She had loved the coed dorm. She had felt very free there, very casual and natural, and the boys there had been not dates but comfortable acquaintances.

She wondered if Pyotr liked chess. He and she could play chess in the evenings, maybe.

“I blame that old popular song,” Uncle Theron was saying. “ ‘Whither thou goest…’ ” he started singing in a fine-grained, slightly quavery tenor.

“Bunny is too young to