The View from Alameda Island - Robyn Carr Page 0,32
known if she’d been paying attention. “I didn’t want to do that again. I’m able to take care of myself. And sometimes too many opinions only makes things worse.”
“You’ve been planning this?”
Lauren sighed. “Remember when I took you and Cassie to Aunt Beth’s? You were so young then. It was very spur-of-the-moment. I hadn’t planned it or thought it through but there was something that just put me over the edge. It was psychological abuse, emotional abuse. Your father was on a tear and I couldn’t take it—”
“But we know he gets like that,” Lacey said. “The life-and-death pressure he’s under...”
“There’s no excuse for abuse, Lacey. But when I thought I could break away, he threatened me and blackmailed me. I tried to fight back but it was pretty well established I was no match for him and so we went back. You begged to go back. Aunt Beth’s was small, crowded and chaotic.”
“What do you mean he threatened you?” Lacey said derisively. “Aren’t you a big enough girl to weather his little tantrums?”
Oh, how Lauren wanted to show her daughter the bruises on her upper arms from being pinched! They went away but there were still discolored spots here and there. Brad always blamed her, her behavior, when he lost his temper or treated her badly. “I always took the brunt of it to spare you girls. And I always hoped he’d mellow over time. But he threatened to do everything in his power to take you from me. Later, he refused to pay tuition for you. He said he could be forced to pay child support until a child was eighteen but not after. I talked to a lawyer who told me there would be a settlement and it was highly possible arrangements for tuition could be part of the settlement. At least half of the tuition. Your father does not fight fair, Lacey. He fights to win. I took you back. I weathered his little tantrums, as you call them. I didn’t want him to punish you girls.”
“And now?”
“I’m done,” she said. “I’ve done all I can do.”
Lacey got tears in her eyes. “What did you expect? You moved out of your bedroom! Don’t pretend this isn’t your fault!”
“He cheated on me!” she blurted.
“No,” Lacey said. “No, he didn’t.”
Lauren rubbed the bridge of her nose. One of many things she hadn’t wanted to dump on her daughters. But, she was sure they’d known. She and Brad had fought so much about it. “He did,” she said. “More than once, and he denies it.”
“You’re just being dramatic!” Lacey said. “You’ve always been like that.”
Lauren heard Brad’s voice saying those words and lost her composure. “He gave me an STD! There’s only one way to get it and I’ve only had one partner in my life.”
Lacey clearly didn’t know what to say. “Well, is he sorry?” she asked, at a loss.
“No! He won’t admit it. Come on, you know how stubborn he can be. And he’s always right, no matter what. You lived in our home. You know how often he belittled me, humiliated me, shouted at me! He accuses me of pushing his buttons, forcing him to behave badly. Do I really need to tell you that’s not true? And even if it were, that’s no excuse. Lacey, I’m almost fifty. I can’t take it anymore! I know that makes you unhappy, but—”
“You have to try harder,” Lacey said.
“I’m sorry, but no. I’ve given him all I have to give.”
“But what about the things we’ve planned?” she asked. “What about my wedding?”
Lauren was momentarily gobsmacked. “Are you and Sean getting serious?”
“Not really, but I will get married someday. What’s my wedding going to be like with you and Daddy hating each other? No family times with all of us together? What about when I have my first baby? Do I have to take turns between you and Daddy? And decide who gets to hold him first?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” Lauren said.
“Of course I’m not kidding!” she said, tears running down her cheeks. “You just can’t do this to me. We have a family. For better or worse, right?”
Lauren leaned closer so she could look into her daughter’s eyes. “You would have me stay in a place where I’m painfully unhappy so you can pretend to have a perfect wedding?”
“Well, you married him, not me!” She turned and grabbed a tissue and began crying in earnest. “You can’t just change everything because you’re not getting your way!”