The View from Alameda Island - Robyn Carr Page 0,28

right,” she finally said in a quiet voice. “You have to do this, Mama. Please.”

* * *

“Thanks for coming over, Mike,” Beau said. Drew, of course, already lived at the house. “I have new keys for both you guys. I’ve changed the locks. It’s official, we’re getting divorced. I’m going to do everything I can to keep this from turning into world war three.”

“You’re what?” Michael said. “I thought you were in counseling!”

“Yes, we went a few times. It wasn’t working, I’m sorry.”

“Did you try?” he demanded. “Really try?”

There was so much Beau wanted to explain. He wished he could make them understand how demoralizing it is to have your wife, your partner, completely unable to commit, unable to take responsibility. The sense of failure at never being enough for her. She was happy once... “I’ve tried several times. I was the one to say it—I think it’s time we let it end. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“So that’s it? And you changed the locks? What’s she supposed to do?”

“She’s hardly homeless—she has a pretty swank flat in the city. Her half of the closet is empty. Here’s what’s supposed to happen. Our lawyers are supposed to talk about how we divide our property. In California it’s called No Fault. That means—”

“I know what it means!” Michael said. “And you locked her out of the house. It’s her house, too!”

“Hey, Mike, back off,” Drew said. “This isn’t Beau’s fault, you know that!”

“She’s not locked out,” Beau said. “She’s welcome any time, as long as someone’s here. She can have anything she wants, but it has to be documented for the lawyers so that at the end of the day, it’s fair. When a couple goes through as many separations as we have, it doesn’t exactly look like the marriage is working. Come on, it’s obvious to you guys it’s not going to work. It was probably obvious two separations ago. I did my best.”

“You don’t seem all torn up about it,” Mike said.

“Hey, what’s up your butt?” Drew asked. “It’s not like Beau hasn’t jumped through all her hoops!”

“She’s our mother!” Mike said. “She’s brokenhearted!”

“Aw shit, she called you,” Beau said.

“Last night,” Mike said. “Crying!”

“Listen to me, don’t let anyone put this on you!” Beau said. “It was her decision to leave, her decision to move out. This is a marriage, not a revolving door!” He took a breath. “She’s only brokenhearted because she didn’t get her way. She calls it off, she wants to turn it back on, then off again, then—”

“You know she’s never happy,” Drew said to Michael. “Come on. It’s not like you didn’t expect this.”

“Neither did your mom,” Beau said. “I guess she thought we’d do this for life, back and forth. But I don’t want to spend my life like that. I’m sorry if it hurts, I’m sorry if you’re angry, but I’m done. I think a divorce will give your mom a chance to start fresh without looking back all the time. I think it’s time we all found some peace. That’s all I’m looking for. Peace.”

“So you locked her out of her own house,” Michael said, angry.

“She’s not locked out, she just can’t live here now. I bought the house. I lived in it before I met you guys and your mom. And she left. I didn’t ask her to leave. I asked her to stay and try to work it out. But she needed space and some freedom. Now she has it. And we’ll resolve this fairly. Whatever settlement the lawyers can come up with that works for everyone involved, that’s what we’ll do. I’m not punishing anyone. I just want to get on with my life. For that matter, I want you guys to be able to get on with yours.” He looked at them imploringly. “Haven’t you been through this enough?”

“You just don’t love her anymore?” Mike asked.

Beau pulled out a dining room chair and sat at the table. “Michael, in a way I’ll always love your mother. For starters, she’s your mother—she gave me you guys. Watching you grow up has been the best part of my life so far. I care about Pam. But I can’t fix what’s wrong.”

“So now I guess you’ll just go?” Michael said.

Beau was stunned. Drew made a sound of disgust, as if he couldn’t believe his brother just said that. “Why would I go anywhere? Worst case, I have to move out and let your mom have the house. So