genesis of his fate. The origin of his curse. And now it was where his long and twisting life would end.
Perhaps, knowing that, Junu should have taken his time with every step. Remembered the trees and how they climbed up the rocky mountainside. How the air became thinner as he climbed. How small rocks kicked up against his ankles, lodging themselves in his tennis shoes.
But Junu didn’t concentrate on any of those things because he was too aware of the minutes ticking by. How they seemed to go faster than normal. How they might be the last ones he had on this earth.
“This place,” Sinhye murmured.
Junu was surprised. They’d been silent the whole drive. And they’d been hiking for two hours without even acknowledging each other. He’d leaned into the silence. It was easier than having to talk to Sinhye, knowing that he planned to betray her. That after he got back his bangmangi and summoned Miyoung’s bead, he was going to ask the sansin to take his life in exchange for pulling Sinhye from Jihoon’s body.
“Are you okay?” Junu asked carefully.
“I’m fine,” Sinhye mused. “It actually feels more comfortable here than being in the city. I don’t know how you live like that. So much noise and bustle. It would give me a headache.”
“You get used to it,” Junu said. “It becomes white noise after a while.”
“What’s white noise?” Sinhye asked.
Junu just shook his head; he wasn’t in the mood to give Sinhye a lesson on modern idioms.
“Does it bother you being back?” Sinhye asked. “I can’t imagine you have fond memories of this place either.”
Junu shrugged. He didn’t want to have a heart-to-heart with Sinhye. He didn’t want to be flooded with memories of his past. He just wanted to do what he came to do, and find some kind of peace. Whatever that looked like.
“I didn’t ask them to change you,” Sinhye said. And Junu thought, at first, that he’d misheard her.
“Didn’t ask who?”
“That shaman. The sansin.”
“Bbeongchiji ma,” Junu muttered.
“I’m telling the truth,” Sinhye insisted.
“Then why did they do this to me?” Junu asked. He didn’t believe a word she said.
“It was to punish me.”
Now Junu did stop. He stared at Sinhye, trying to discern any deceit in her face. But he couldn’t find it. Was it because she wore the face of a friend?
“Why would he use me to punish you?”
“For daring to love you instead of him. He could have trapped me without you, but he wanted you to do it so I would feel what it was like to be betrayed by the one person I loved.”
Junu shook his head; he didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t want to feel it squeezing his heart. “What we had wasn’t love.”
“It’s all I knew of love,” Sinhye said. “Before you, I’d known lies. I’d known greed. I’d known lust. But you were my first taste of love. That’s why it hurt so much. Your betrayal. It’s why I hate you so much now.”
There. That was the first thing Junu believed. And it helped harden his resolve. He was doing the right thing. He just had to forge ahead and get it done. “Well, I guess we’re both getting our revenge, then. Come on,” he said, starting up the path again. “We’ve got a ways to go before we reach the cave.”
52
SOMIN WOKE AS the car jerked to a stop. Miyoung wasn’t the best driver in the world, but she’d gotten them there in one piece.
Dread filled Somin as she climbed out of the Porsche and stared up at the mountain. “We have to hike up this?”
“Yup. Come on, we have a lot of ground to make up,” Miyoung said. She shaded her eyes from the sun, which was rising higher into the sky. It felt like it was moving too fast. Like time was racing against them.
Somin had tried to practice in her head what she wanted to say to Junu but hadn’t come up with anything yet. She wanted to yell at him and hug him at the same time. She still wasn’t sure how she felt. A part of her was so pissed that Junu would do this. That he wouldn’t even talk to the rest of them before making this decision. But another part of her was so grateful he would sacrifice himself for Jihoon.
“Are you okay?” Miyoung asked, and Somin realized Miyoung had been talking.