up this whole time, and others are paying the price.”
“No,” Somin said again. “I can’t let you go. Not this soon.”
“Maybe we’ll meet in the next life,” Junu said softly.
“I don’t want to wait that long.”
“I’ll make it worth the wait. I promise.” Junu smiled. “In the next life, I’ll work my hardest to be a person worthy of you.”
Somin shook her head, but she didn’t say anything; instead, she held on to him. He worried if she didn’t let go, then he’d lose the courage to do what needed to be done.
“Just being yourself makes you worthy.”
Now Junu felt the burn of tears behind his eyes, but he held them back. He knew that if she saw him cry, it would only make her hurt worse.
“If I’d known it would make you say such nice things, I’d have gladly sacrificed my soul earlier.”
That made Somin choke out a laugh. “Of course you would say something absolutely ridiculous at a time like this.”
“Be good,” Junu said, leaning close, and gave her a gentle kiss. He could taste the salt of her tears on her lips.
She moved back just a centimeter, so they were only a breath apart, and said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Jin Junu.”
His laugh was a low rumble. Then he finally let go of Somin, and after a moment of tense hesitation, she let go, too.
“Okay, first things first. Let’s call that bead.”
“Junu, I can’t—” Miyoung began, but he shook his head.
“It doesn’t need discussion, I made up my mind.”
“This doesn’t feel right.”
Junu laughed. “Well, you’ve never really approved of anything I’ve ever done before.”
“Stop it. I’m saying that I don’t think you need to do this. We’ll find another way.”
“Jihoon doesn’t have time to wait. And I was the reason you lost your mother. I won’t be the reason you lose him, too.”
“You’re not. I never really thought you were. I was just so angry all the time, and you were an easy target. And my mother.” Miyoung paused, taking a deep breath. “My mother made her own choices. That was never on you.”
Junu smiled sadly. “Thank you for that. But you’re not the only person I’ve wronged in this life. I’ve spent it shamefully and now I’m paying that price. It’s my price to pay.”
He held out the staff. “Grab ahold.”
Miyoung hesitated a moment before obeying.
“Now think about your bead. Think about the look of it and the shape of it. Make it solid in your mind.”
Miyoung squeezed her eyes shut.
At first nothing happened. And Junu wondered if he’d lost the ability to use the staff. Perhaps he didn’t deserve it after shunning it for most of his life. But then the staff seemed to warm. Like a low flow of energy moving through it. And the air beside Miyoung wavered.
It thickened, like a film being laid over the space. Then it congealed and shifted until it started to take shape.
“I thought it was small,” Somin whispered behind them. She’d spoken Junu’s own thoughts aloud. The bead should be the size of a large pearl. Whatever was forming here was the size of a human, or a beast.
It formed a head and a body that slowly filled with color. Until it became almost whole. Until it became Yena.
“Daughter.” Her voice sounded like a thousand whispers emitted as one. “You did it. You’ve found me again.”
62
MIYOUNG’S LEGS SHOOK as she rose. She wanted to do so many things in this moment. Cry in rage, in fear, in joy. She wanted to wrap her arms around the thing with her mother’s face, even as she knew it wasn’t really her mother, not all of her at least.
“Eomma,” she said, her voice shaking. “I’m so sorry. You can’t stay.”
Yena’s beautiful brow furrowed. “What are you saying, Daughter?”
Miyoung shook her head. “You don’t belong here. Not anymore. And keeping you here is selfish.”
“What if I don’t want to go?”
“Be careful,” Junu murmured to Miyoung as he stood beside her.
Miyoung nodded and her face became set. “You can’t stay,” she told her mother. “You have to move on. You have to give me my bead back and leave.”
“Bead?” Yena said, and she opened her hands.
Miyoung could have sworn they’d been empty a second before, but now in her left palm lay a luminescent pearl.
“Is that it?” Somin breathed, staring at the bead. Like she’d never seen anything so powerful before. And of course, she hadn’t. It was a wondrous sight. The soul of a gumiho.